Teammate Jokes

What did Lochte say after his teammates told the police what really happened?

and I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you medaling kids!"

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Why does Michael Phelps refuse to aid his teammates in preparing for the Olympics?

He only Phelps himself.

How did the failing Heroes of the Storm player apologize to their teammate?

I'm gonna level with you.

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Carry Jokes More Carry Jokes

What kind of music venues do gun lovers like the most?

Carry OK

Why do people carry umbrellas?

Because umbrellas cant walk.

Olympic Jokes More Olympic Jokes

Why does Michael Phelps refuse to aid his teammates in preparing for the Olympics?

He only Phelps himself.

Why doesn't Mexico ever do well in the Olympics?

Because every mexican that can run, jump, or swim is already in America.

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

What white actor is going to play Prince in his bio pic?

Peter Dinklige

Why is the O in Opossum silent?

Because it's playing dead.

Fail Jokes More Fail Jokes

What did the failed Swedish chef say?

All that hard Bork and nothing to show for it .

Why did the atheist fail algebra?

He didn't believe in higher powers!

Apologize Jokes More Apologize Jokes

Why can't Canada win wars?

Because they'll blow you up and then apologize.

What do you call someone who breaks a plate and then apologizes?

Dishrespectful...

Sport Jokes More Sport Jokes

Why was Cinderella banned from playing sports?

Because she always ran away from the ball &ltp&gt My favorite joke since I was little

What is Zoolander's least favourite sport?

Nascar If you can even call it a sport.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How does Harry Houdini tell people to steal stuff?

Straight jack it.

How can you tell when a vampire is sick?

By his coffin!

Write Jokes More Write Jokes

Who wrote "The Tiger's Revenge"?

Claude Balls

What do rappers use to write their lyrics?

Word,yo.