Uber Driver Jokes

What meme do Uber drivers hate?

Do you even Lyft, bro?

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Coffee Mug

How do you ask an Uber driver if he drives for Lyft, too?

Do you even Lyft bro? (I'll see myself out)

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Law Jokes More Law Jokes

What defies the law of gravity?

Women. They heavier they are, the easier they are to pick up.

What is OHM's Law?

Ans. It is very good law, It is very useful law, Nice law, Its a Scientific Law, I have studied this law.

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

What kind of trucks do pigs drive?

A pig up truck

What can hunger do that a woman simply can't?

Drive me to the grocery store.

Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

Which people do the burgers hate?

The ones who are always putting the bite on them!

Why do Vampires hate Writers?

Because they hate Type O's

Portuguese Jokes More Portuguese Jokes

Why did the Portuguese guy take Xanax?

Hispanic attacks.

How many portuguese people can fit on a scooter?

A Brazilian

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What did the kleptomaniacal compulsive liar say when his beekeeper friend asked him what he was running away with?

None of your beeswax!"

How do people know spiders are more afraid of me than I am of them?

Like, did you ask him Because only one of us is screaming right now.

Virgin Jokes More Virgin Jokes

How do you know if a redneck girl is a virgin?

See if she can run faster than her brothers.

How many sperm cells do virgins have at any given time?

Ohh.. About a handful.

Cab Driver Jokes More Cab Driver Jokes

What do you call a cab driver who lost his brakes?

A screwdriver

Why did the cab driver get a divorce?

Because he had a fare.

Tan Jokes More Tan Jokes

What's the difference between a white girl who likes to tan and a burger?

They both need to be flipped every 10 mins, but only one turns pink when its done.

Why do mathematician never go to the beach?

Because they got sin and cos to give them a tan