Wick Jokes

What did the candle say to the flame?

You're getting on my wick.

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What did the wick say to the wax?

I candel you.

How long does it take to burn a candle down ?

About a wick !

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Boston Jokes More Boston Jokes

Why don't British people pronounce their T's?

Because they're all in the Boston harbor."

Why is a Boston painting school so special?

Because everyone there is ahtistic.

Hmath Jokes More Hmath Jokes

What did the wicked chicken lay?

A deviled egg. Hmath out.

What did the stamp say to the envelope?

Stick with me man... We'll go places. Peace. Hmath out.

Ice Bucket Challenge Jokes More Ice Bucket Challenge Jokes

Why aren't these people with Ebola doing the ice bucket challenge?

Don't they want to get better

What was the true purpose of the Ice Bucket Challenge?

To bring down the Wicked Witch of the West.

Fear Jokes More Fear Jokes

What do girls fear that's big, scary, and pink?

The Alaskan Bull Worm.

Which day do chickens fear most?

Fryday.

Bring Jokes More Bring Jokes

How do you know a homeless woman is menstruating?

If she's only wearing one sock. (This joke brought to you courtesy the homeless guy outside my local 7-11.) Edit: tweaked the punchline.

What's that in the bag?

An AK-47." "No next to that." "A bag of cheetos." "You can't bring that into the movie."

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why did the farmer use a steam roller?

He wanted to grow mashed potatoes.

What does Marshawan Lynch use to keep himself calm before the big game?

Marsh-Mellows

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

Why are there no Wal Marts in Iraq, Iran, or Afghanistan?

Because there are already too many targets. (credit: some old veteran bum looking guy sleeping on a bench at the police station I went to today.)

What are prehistoric monsters called when they sleep ?

A dinosnore !

Demon Jokes More Demon Jokes

Why did the demon get arrested?

Posession

Why dont Demons fear oxidation?

Because there's no rust for the wicked