Fear Jokes

How do you get over a fear of elevators?

Just take some steps to avoid them!

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Which 3 words will make a mexican tremble in fear ?

Round of 16

What's a redditors worst fear?

What's a blind mans worst fear ?

A prius

What do girls fear that's big, scary, and pink?

The Alaskan Bull Worm.

What did the policeman do to his fear of the dark?

He shot it.

What do you call a fear of chainsaws?

Logic.

What's white, black, and can smell fear?

deez nuts.

What one noun, verb, and US President sums up a scientist's hopes and fears?

Grant.

What Pablo Escobar And Other Narcos Fear Most?

LEGALIZATION

What do you call it when a person has a fear of Vietnamese food?

They have a Pho-bia!

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Why did the psych ward escapee never get married?

He had a fear of commitment

Why dont Demons fear oxidation?

Because there's no rust for the wicked

Why are a German vegetarians pessimists?

Because they always fear the wurst.

What do you call a fear of Alkaline?

A pH-obia

Why do Germans fear hotdogs with cheese?

Because for them, it is a Wurst-Kase scenario.

Why couldn't the Geordie go above the seventh floor in the tower block?

He had a fear of eights

How much wood can Chuck Norris if Chuck Norris could chuck wood?

Chuck Norris would just stare at the wood, and it would chuck itself out of fear.

What weapon is most feared by knights?

A can opener.

What's the similarity between pessimists and people with a phobia of sausages?

They both fear the wurst

Why don't nervous vegans visit Germany?

They fear the wurst!

What do you call a fear of deadly snakes?

Common sense.

Which day do chickens fear most?

Fryday.

Why did the Soviets pull their missiles out?

Because they feared a premature ejectulation

What's ur biggst fear?

Child1: Ghosts! Child2: Dogs! Child3: That humanity's core reaction to misunderstanding is anger

What's a vampire cows worst fear?

Steaks.

Who is the Sith Lord of fear?

Count Spooku

What day does the egg fear most?

Fry-day

What do you call the fear of chainsaws?

Common Sense. I'll show myself out...

What disease do horses fear most?

Hay Fever!

What do you call a fear of horned bovines?

Aurochnophobia.

Why cant a Mexican man sleep with three women at once?

Fear of over dos

Which disease do hobbits fear the most?

The Bilbonic plague.

What is snow?

No one would say: It's doubtful an Eskimo would have Chionophobia, a fear of this.

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Vietnamese Jokes More Vietnamese Jokes

What do you call a lineup at a Vietnamese restaurant?

A Pho queue

What do you call it when a person has a fear of Vietnamese food?

They have a Pho-bia!

16 Jokes More 16 Jokes

How many bites out of the new iPhone did Tim Cook take?

16, 32, 64, and 128

What's worse than 16 dead babies nailed to a tree?

One dead baby nailed to 16 trees.

Rust Jokes More Rust Jokes

How do you stop a metal from rusting?

Use some antioxidants

What did the BMW say to the Audi on the side of the road?

Rust-in-peace.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

How do you call a man with a rabbit up his bum?

A bad magician

How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?

No one knows it's never happened.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What do you get a kid without arms for Christmas?

Gloves, but he doesn't know that yet.. since he can't open it.

What do you have to know to be an auctioneer?

Lots

Redditor Jokes More Redditor Jokes

What do you call a kid who tells bad jokes?

A redditor

How did the redditor get lots of downvotes?

What is a pirate's favourite letter

Logic Jokes More Logic Jokes

Why aren't there any "old husband tales"?

There are. They just get re-branded as "logic" and "the truth".

Why do Christian bands only record with Pro Tools?

Because they don't understand how to use Logic or Reason.

Dark Jokes More Dark Jokes

What kind of dog can you best see in the dark?

A glowberman pinscher!

How do you find King Arthur in the dark?

With a knight light....