Fear Jokes

How do you get over a fear of elevators?

Just take some steps to avoid them!

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Which 3 words will make a mexican tremble in fear ?

Round of 16

What's a redditors worst fear?

What's a blind mans worst fear ?

A prius

What do girls fear that's big, scary, and pink?

The Alaskan Bull Worm.

What did the policeman do to his fear of the dark?

He shot it.

What do you call a fear of chainsaws?

Logic.

What's white, black, and can smell fear?

deez nuts.

What one noun, verb, and US President sums up a scientist's hopes and fears?

Grant.

What Pablo Escobar And Other Narcos Fear Most?

LEGALIZATION

What do you call it when a person has a fear of Vietnamese food?

They have a Pho-bia!

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Why did the psych ward escapee never get married?

He had a fear of commitment

Why dont Demons fear oxidation?

Because there's no rust for the wicked

Why are a German vegetarians pessimists?

Because they always fear the wurst.

What do you call a fear of Alkaline?

A pH-obia

Why do Germans fear hotdogs with cheese?

Because for them, it is a Wurst-Kase scenario.

Why couldn't the Geordie go above the seventh floor in the tower block?

He had a fear of eights

How much wood can Chuck Norris if Chuck Norris could chuck wood?

Chuck Norris would just stare at the wood, and it would chuck itself out of fear.

What weapon is most feared by knights?

A can opener.

What's the similarity between pessimists and people with a phobia of sausages?

They both fear the wurst

Why don't nervous vegans visit Germany?

They fear the wurst!

What do you call a fear of deadly snakes?

Common sense.

Which day do chickens fear most?

Fryday.

Why did the Soviets pull their missiles out?

Because they feared a premature ejectulation

What's ur biggst fear?

Child1: Ghosts! Child2: Dogs! Child3: That humanity's core reaction to misunderstanding is anger

What's a vampire cows worst fear?

Steaks.

Who is the Sith Lord of fear?

Count Spooku

What day does the egg fear most?

Fry-day

What do you call the fear of chainsaws?

Common Sense. I'll show myself out...

What disease do horses fear most?

Hay Fever!

What do you call a fear of horned bovines?

Aurochnophobia.

Why cant a Mexican man sleep with three women at once?

Fear of over dos

Which disease do hobbits fear the most?

The Bilbonic plague.

What is snow?

No one would say: It's doubtful an Eskimo would have Chionophobia, a fear of this.

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How do Muslims seperate the men from the boys?

With a crowbar.

What do you give to a man who has everything?

Penicillin

Marry Jokes More Marry Jokes

Why is it so important to fruits to get married?

Because they cantaloupe.

How does one turn a fox into a pig?

Marry her.

Dingo Jokes More Dingo Jokes

What's the difficult part about having a dingo for a pet?

It takes 10 months to give it a good meal

What does a Dingo call a pregnant woman?

A Snack Pack...... I'm sorry

Verb Jokes More Verb Jokes

Why does a German always have the last laugh?

He has to wait for the verb.

What did the verb say when the words have, has, and had were removed from the English language?

A: "Nobody's perfect!"

Grant Jokes More Grant Jokes

What kind of genie only grants wishes to men?

A misogenie.

Who granted the fish's wish?

Fairy codmother

Dark Jokes More Dark Jokes

How many Arabs does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just sit in the dark and blame the Jews.

How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None they'd rather keep their clients in the dark.

Blind Man Jokes More Blind Man Jokes

What is the first thing a blind man says?

My eyes! My eyes!

What did the blind man say when he was asked what he thought about the renovation plan of his house?

I don't know.. I just don't see it.

Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

How do you stop a North Korean tank?

Shoot the guy driving the cardboard box.

Why was Leia disappointed on her wedding night?

Han shot first.