Asylum Jokes

Why shouldn't you get asylum in Russia?

Cuz you'd be snowed-in

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Why was Santa in the asylum?

He lost his SANTAty

What does an asylum have in common with a squirrel's house?

They're both used to store nuts.

Why did the cheese get sent to the asylum?

Coz 'e-mmental!

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Fridge Jokes More Fridge Jokes

Whats white blue and rectangular?

A fridge with a denim jacket on.

What is green, sings and can be found in the fridge?

Elvis Parsley

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What's the difference between a terrorist and a civilian?

I don't know man, I just fly the drones.

How do you get a hipster to take a shower?

Give them a leaky showerhead. You know, so they can avoid the main stream.

Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

What is Santa's favorite music?

Wrap! (I came up with this when i was 8.)

What's the difference between Santa Claus and Harry Potter?

Santa would never free an elf.

Cheese Jokes More Cheese Jokes

What cheese can never be yours?

Nacho cheese.

What kind of house does cheese like to live in?

A cottage"

1950s Jokes More 1950s Jokes

What's the difference between a 1950s mental asylum and my fridge?

One's filled with fruits and vegetables, the other's my fridge.

What did the turkey say about the television program from the 1950s?

There's a little bit too much grayvy.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What did the triangle need to do before he could get a loan?

He needed somebody to cosine.

Why do the proms stop after high school?

Just because I'm an adult now doesn't mean I don't still need to grind on people to Lil' Jon songs.

Vegetable Jokes More Vegetable Jokes

What do you call a woman who pleasures herself with a vegetable?

Mrs Hawking

What do you call a brain dead Swede?

A vegetable..

Borderline Personality Disorder Jokes More Borderline Personality Disorder Jokes

What do you call someone on the borderline of being diagnosed with a borderline personality disorder?

An asylum seeker.

Why does a Mexican take Xanax?

For his Borderline Personality Disorder.