Carve Jokes

Why did I carve a heart with me and my boyfriends initials into a tree?

To sharpen the knife

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
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What's the best way to carve wood?

Whittle by whittle.

How do you get 27 kids to carve a statue?

A: Have everybody chip in.

What do stupid kids do at Halloween?

They carve a face on an apple and go bobbing for pumpkins.

How do you start a stampede in Ethiopia?

Carve a turkey

What's brown and white and flies all over?

Thanksgiving turkey when you carve it with a chain saw!

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Face Jokes More Face Jokes

What if they found the face of Jesus in a piece of toast but it was *actually* Jesus?

This is my body, I'm nice with jam."

How do you get a clown to stop smiling?

Hit him in the face with an axe

Heart Jokes More Heart Jokes

Why do marble statues look so mean?

A: They have hearts of stone.

Why should you send your sweetie a valentine?

Because you always heart the one you love.

Good Way Jokes More Good Way Jokes

What's the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair?

Cancer...

What is the best way for a pet shop to get business?

Word of mouse.

Statue Jokes More Statue Jokes

Why is it a bad idea to get in a relationship with a statue?

Because it's not going anywhere.

Why did the Pharaoh Build a Statue of Himself?

Because he Sphinx he's the best.

Bob Jokes More Bob Jokes

What does he have now?

Diabetes. Bob has diabetes.

Why do Blondes wear padded shoulders?

A: So they don't get a concussion while bobbing their from head side to side as they are saying "I don't know " whenever you ask them a question.

Halloween Jokes More Halloween Jokes

Where were you on Friday?

Me: It was a holiday. Boss: HALLOWEEN IS NOT A PAID HOLIDAY! Me: It is if you go as Christmas. Boss:...

What do Hutterites do on Halloween?

Pump-kin

27 Jokes More 27 Jokes

How many skateboarders does it take to change a lightbulb?

One...but it takes him 27 tries

What do you call 27 West Virginians?

A full set of teeth.

Stupid Kid Jokes More Stupid Kid Jokes

What do you call a stupid kid in pre-school?

Names.

What do stupid kids do at Halloween?

They carve a face on an apple and go bobbing for pumpkins.