Carve Jokes

Why did I carve a heart with me and my boyfriends initials into a tree?

To sharpen the knife

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What's the best way to carve wood?

Whittle by whittle.

How do you get 27 kids to carve a statue?

A: Have everybody chip in.

What do stupid kids do at Halloween?

They carve a face on an apple and go bobbing for pumpkins.

How do you start a stampede in Ethiopia?

Carve a turkey

What's brown and white and flies all over?

Thanksgiving turkey when you carve it with a chain saw!

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Stampede Jokes More Stampede Jokes

What do you call a stampede that runs in circles?

NASCOW

How do you start a stampede in Ethiopia?

Carve a turkey

Statue Jokes More Statue Jokes

Why did Snoop Dogg go to the store before he sculpted his statue?

Fo' chisel.

Why is it a bad idea to get in a relationship with a statue?

Because it's not going anywhere.

Fly Jokes More Fly Jokes

Why do buzzards prefer to fly?

Because they really like their carry-on..... yeah total dad joke, i know.

What's the difference between a politician and a flying pig?

The letter F.

Thanksgive Jokes More Thanksgive Jokes

Why dont blacks celibrate thanksgiving?

KFC isnt open on holidays.

What did the hoodrats have for thanksgiving dinner?

Twerkey

Thanksgive Turkey Jokes More Thanksgive Turkey Jokes

What's brown and white and flies all over?

Thanksgiving turkey when you carve it with a chain saw!

How does Vladimir Putin like his Thanksgiving turkey?

Nuked

Face Jokes More Face Jokes

What did the scientist see when he looked up his family tree?

A gorilla pooped on his face.

How'd you get that cut above your eye?

Me: *Remembering dropping my phone on my face* "STOP ASKING ME ABOUT FIGHT CLUB!"

Turkey Jokes More Turkey Jokes

Why was the United Nations concerned when the waitress dropped the platter on Thanksgiving?

It meant the fall of Turkey, the ruin of Greece, and the breakup of China.

What did the turkey say to the goat?

The turkey said gobble, gobble, gobble. The goat said back abdul akbar before blowing up.

Bob Jokes More Bob Jokes

What was Bob the Builder called after he retired?

Bob.

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs floating in the water?

A: Bob