Sharpen Jokes

Why did I carve a heart with me and my boyfriends initials into a tree?

To sharpen the knife

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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What would Game of Thrones be called if it was about ice cream?

Game of Cones If it was about sword sharpening: Game of Hones If it was just everyone playing Go: Game of Stones If everyone was single: Game of Alones If it was about balls: Game of Throwns If it was about spooky scary skeletons: Game of Bones If everyone used UAVs to fight: Game of Drones If everyone was a banker: Game of Loans If it was about breakfast foods: Game of Scones

How does a French blacksmith sharpen his blade?

He hon(hon hon)s it.

What did the cat use to sharpen its claws?

Me. Ow.

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Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

Why can't Californians stop at stop signs?

I don't know and this is not a laughing matter.

How do you stop your bacon from curling in the pan?

Take their little stones and brooms away!

Tree Jokes More Tree Jokes

How did the blonde die raking leaves?

She fell out of the tree.

Why was the cat scared of the tree?

Because of its bark

French Jokes More French Jokes

Who is the easiest to get a high-five from in a war?

The French. They always have their hands up.

Why do the French have so many civil wars?

So they can win one every now and again. (Thanks, John Cleese! This was too good not to share.)

Loan Jokes More Loan Jokes

Why can't student loan get a girlfriend?

Because he is forever a loan.

How do you expect us to loan you money if you can't prove to us that you don't need it?

Banks

Ice Cream Jokes More Ice Cream Jokes

What does M.Night Shyamalan always order when he goes out for ice cream?

A large twist cone.

What's the difference between Americans and ice cream?

Ice cream fits in a tub.

Cat Jokes More Cat Jokes

Where do cats write down notes?

A: Scratch Paper!

How are cats like empty wine bottles?

I'm probably gonna die surrounded by both.

Fight Jokes More Fight Jokes

What do you call two pencils fighting?

A grafight.

What is it called when a gamer fights someone?

An Asthma attack.

Stone Jokes More Stone Jokes

Why don't you ever see any Muslim methheads?

They all just get stoned instead.

What's the difference between a drunk driver and a stoned driver?

The drunk driver runs the stop sign. The stoned driver waits for it to turn green.