Di Jokes

Which part of your body shuts down last when you die?

The eyes, cause they di-late.

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What did Dodi Fayed say to his driver?

Want to go out with me and Di tonight?

Wherefore art thou Romeo?

Romeo: New phone. Who dis

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What does Saddam want for Thanksgiving ?

A: Turkey.

What's the difference between a communist and a feminist?

The communist wants equality

Invite Jokes More Invite Jokes

Why is Arjen Robben not being invited to Alfredo Di Stefanos funeral?

They're scared he'll try to dive in the box.

Why does Superman get invited to dinners?

Because he is a Supperhero.

Eye Jokes More Eye Jokes

Why do Pokmon have eyes?

So they can pikachu

Where's the cake?

Mom of kid: We don't believe in sugar. Me: I promise it's real. I've seen it with my own eyes.

Road Jokes More Road Jokes

Why can't Saudi woman drive?

There's no road from the kitchen to the bedroom.

Why didn't sine cross the road?

Cosecant

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What has four legs but isn't alive?

The son says,"Nice try dad, a chair!" "Not this time son, our dog is dead"

What was the first treacherous thing said?

Adam you gotta try this!

Dive Jokes More Dive Jokes

What happens when you mock the host of Diners, Drive-In's, and Dives?

The guy gets fierious.

What do you get when you cross a dove and a serpent?

A Christian...

Oscar Jokes More Oscar Jokes

Why did Leonardo di Caprio want Steve Harvey to host the Oscars?

He'd get it.

What is the Revenant about?

The unbearable lengths one man will go to get his revenge and win an Oscar.

Driver Jokes More Driver Jokes

Why was the driver fired from the destruction derby?

He was accused of wreckless driving.

Why cant train drivers be sentenced to the electric chair?

Because they're bad conductors.