Di Jokes

Which part of your body shuts down last when you die?

The eyes, cause they di-late.

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What did Dodi Fayed say to his driver?

Want to go out with me and Di tonight?

Wherefore art thou Romeo?

Romeo: New phone. Who dis

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Host Jokes More Host Jokes

What should TNT host?

League of Legends. Because they know drama.

What is the most mysterious cheese?

I'm going to a cheese and wine party tonight and the host has requested I bring a "mystery cheese". I'm hoping there's a puntastic cheese out there somewhere that may fit the bill!

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What does Asian Matthew Mcconaughey want for dinner?

All rice, all rice, all rice

Why aren't these people with Ebola doing the ice bucket challenge?

Don't they want to get better

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What do you get if you cross a constable with a computer?

PC Plod.

What do you get when you cross human DNA with a penguin?

A life time ban at the zoo

Party Jokes More Party Jokes

How do you spot a vegan at a party?

Don't worry, they'll let you know.

Why didn't Thor like the party?

It was too Loki.

Ensure Jokes More Ensure Jokes

Whose excercises will ensure that you will never win a fitness award?

Leonardo Di Cardio

How do you ensure the Letter Y has a clean bathroom experience?

A Kleenex. That will be all.

Body Jokes More Body Jokes

What has a head, a tail, and no body?

A coin!

What do you call a man with no arms and legs that falls into a body of water?

Bob.

Win Jokes More Win Jokes

How the hell did Caitlyn Jenner win women of the year?

She hasnt even been a women for a year yet.

What do you call it when a Cat wins a Dogshow?

Cat-has-trophy. Such punny. Much Cringe.

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What are you doing, creep?

she says. He glances up, smiles, and says "Calm down. I'm just trying to get a Pikachu."

Why did Mexico reduce the number of days an American tourist can stay in their country from 180 days to 90 days ?

Because after 90 days in Mexico, even they try to enter the US illegally.