Chelsea Jokes

What do you get when 42 goes into 45?

Chelsea.

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What do you get when you cross a crooked lawyer with a crooked politician?

A: Chelsea.

What is the difference between Chelsea and Leo di caprio?

Chelsea got Oscar. huehuehuehue.

Why does Chelsea look so stupid and ugly?

A: Heredity.

Why is Bill infuriated with Chelsea's new private school?

A: They broke family tradition by making her wear a uniform.

Why did Bill and Hillary send Chelsea to a private school?

A: If they sent her to a public school the secret service would be out-gunned!

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42 Jokes More 42 Jokes

What has an IQ of 42?

A: "40 Marines plus their lieutenant"

How many roads must a man walk?

Uniform Jokes More Uniform Jokes

What does it take for a soldier in uniform to pick up a girl?

a smile and wave!

What kind of dog wears a uniform and medals ?

A guard dog !

Oscar Jokes More Oscar Jokes

Why didn't DiCaprio laugh at Oscar joke?

Because he didn't get it.

What did Matthew McConaughey have to say about the 2016 Oscar-winner's line-up?

All white, all white, all white!

Secret Service Jokes More Secret Service Jokes

What is the only law enforcement agency that will get in trouble if a black man is shot?

The Secret Service

What is the difference between the regular police and the secret service?

The secret service is the only police that gets in trouble if a black person dies. Shamelessly stolen from the correspondents' dinner.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a masochist and a blogger?

There's none, both live for the hits.

What is the difference between my ex-girlfriend and a beer?

One is pale, bitter and starts off with lots of head and the other one is a beer.

Bill Jokes More Bill Jokes

Why do I have to answer security questions to pay my bills?

Ohmygod please tell me there are hackers out there trying to pay my bills....

Who is Steve?

Why does he call all the time " "What's this bill for a hotel room "

Hillary Jokes More Hillary Jokes

What do you call someone who supports Hillary?

Paid off.

Why won't Hillary ever pull out?

She's never finished screwing people.

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

Why was everyone afraid of the everything bagel?

Because he looked pretty seedy!

What does a baby mouse say to its mother after seeing a bat?

Look mom, an angel!