Disney Jokes

What do Disney and Kellogg's have in common?

They both make pop tarts.

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Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a Disney movie?

Disney movies can still touch little kids.

Who's Bill Cosby's favourite Disney princess?

Sleeping Beauty

What do Disney movies and coathangers have in common?

They can both bring out the child from within.

What is every young ladys ultimate Disney fantasy?

To sit on Pinnochios face and hope he tells lies.

What illness are you suffering from if you keep seeing cartoon animals who talk?

Disney spells.

What do Intel, Google, Uber, eBay, McDonalds, Budweiser, AT&T, Oracle, Disney, Boeing, IBM and Apple have in common?

Immigrants

What have Disney and the U.K. got in common?

Both dropped the EU And screwed over a lot of people

What did Disney call their remake of Dante's Inferno?

101 damnations

Why did the witch keep turning people into Mickey Mouse?

She was having Disney spells.

What is a racists favorite Disney film?

101 Damn'Asians.

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What climate scientist does Disney follow on twitter?

The rogue one

What's a mexican's favorite Disney movie?

Mow lawn. Sorry.

Why did the Country Bear Jamboree bear blush?

Because he was a bear a-singing. ..... I am at Disney with the kids this week...

Which knee?

Mickey: Disney

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What kind of government does Disney World have?

A plutocracy

What political ideology does Hades consider himself to be apart of?

Plutocracy

Disney World Jokes More Disney World Jokes

What is the similarity between Disney World and a woman?

They both make you wait 2 hours for a 30 second ride!

What do characters at Disney World and strippers have in common?

No touching!

Touch Jokes More Touch Jokes

What disease is most easily contracted by touching your hands together?

The clap.

What's the worst thing to read in Braille?

Don't touch this.

Coathanger Jokes More Coathanger Jokes

What can bring out your inner child?

A coathanger.

What's the difference between a potato and a vegetable...?

Not knowing how to use a coathanger...

Bill Cosby Jokes More Bill Cosby Jokes

How is a Bill Cosby better than Ronda Rousey?

He's never met a woman he hasn't knocked out.

What's the difference between Bill Cosby and a Rap artist?

art

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Why'd it take Little Red Riding Hood so long to figure out it wasnt her grandma?

I can tell after like 2 questions if its a wolf or my nana

When I fix someone's computer and they say "Wow how'd you do that?

I tell them I'm a wizard then throw glitter in their face.

Stripper Jokes More Stripper Jokes

What's the difference between the strippers and the circus?

The circus has a cunning array of stunts.

What do you call a stripper you pay with noodles?

A PASTATUTE!!!

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What's black and white . . . What's black and white and loves kids?

Michael Jackson

What does a goat have when it gives birth?

A kid.