Disney Jokes

What do Disney and Kellogg's have in common?

They both make pop tarts.

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Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a Disney movie?

Disney movies can still touch little kids.

Who's Bill Cosby's favourite Disney princess?

Sleeping Beauty

What do Disney movies and coathangers have in common?

They can both bring out the child from within.

What is every young ladys ultimate Disney fantasy?

To sit on Pinnochios face and hope he tells lies.

What illness are you suffering from if you keep seeing cartoon animals who talk?

Disney spells.

What do Intel, Google, Uber, eBay, McDonalds, Budweiser, AT&T, Oracle, Disney, Boeing, IBM and Apple have in common?

Immigrants

What have Disney and the U.K. got in common?

Both dropped the EU And screwed over a lot of people

What did Disney call their remake of Dante's Inferno?

101 damnations

Why did the witch keep turning people into Mickey Mouse?

She was having Disney spells.

What is a racists favorite Disney film?

101 Damn'Asians.

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What climate scientist does Disney follow on twitter?

The rogue one

What's a mexican's favorite Disney movie?

Mow lawn. Sorry.

Why did the Country Bear Jamboree bear blush?

Because he was a bear a-singing. ..... I am at Disney with the kids this week...

Which knee?

Mickey: Disney

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Why doesnt McDonalds serve snail?

Because of sanitation reasons.

What do you call a bunch of tractors parked in front of a McDonald's on Friday night in Wisconsin?

Prom night.

Character Jokes More Character Jokes

What are Alphabet employees gonna be called?

Characters.

What do you call an immoral lesbian citizen of Rivendell who hosts a talk-variety show and lacks character?

An elven degenerate.

Little Kid Jokes More Little Kid Jokes

What do you call little kids in Belgium?

Brusselsprouts

What's the difference between a little kid and a lesbian?

A little kid shouldn't run with scissors, a lesbian shouldn't scissor with the runs.

Michael Jackson Jokes More Michael Jackson Jokes

Why did Michael Jackson not molest Macaulay Culkin?

He wasn't hot enough.

What did Michael Jackson almost name his daughter?

Nata-LEE-HEE!

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a woman in a bathtub and a woman in a church?

The woman in church has hope in her soul.

What's the difference between an orphanage and a beach ball?

You won't go to prison for blowing up a beach ball.

Intel Jokes More Intel Jokes

Why can't Intel-based phones enjoy Pokmon Go?

Because Intel Inside.

Why didn't Intel call the Pentium the 586?

A: Because they added 486 and 100 on the first Pentium and got 585.999983605.

Mexican Jokes More Mexican Jokes

What's the difference between a black joke and Mexican joke?

Nothing. If you've heard Juan you've heard Jamal.

Why did the Mexican school girl get pregnant?

Here teacher said to go home and do her "essay".

Apple Jokes More Apple Jokes

Whole Foods Cashier: Do you have your grocery bags?

Me: Kidding At $6 an apple you should drive them home and make an apple pie for me.

How many Apple users does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. Once the bulb goes out, they replace the house.