Little Kid Jokes

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a Xbox?

They're both made of plastic, and little kids turn them on.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a paper bag?

One is made of plastic and is very dangerous for little kids to play with. The other carries groceries.

Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a Disney movie?

Disney movies can still touch little kids.

Why can the Devil never go back to Georgia?

He fiddled up a little kid.

What do you call little kids in Belgium?

Brusselsprouts

What's big, bounces, and makes little kids cry?

My donation check to the orphanage.

Why do you like little kids...?

They have to use TWO hands.

What do monkeys sleep on?

Apricots. I used to love this joke when I was a little kid and told it over and over. I'm still a little in love with it for that reason. What are some of your favorite jokes from when you were a little kid?

Where did Napoleon keep his armies?

IN HIS SLEEVIES! Best used with little kids, or followed by maniacal laughter.

What do you call a Mexican who likes little kids?

A pedrophile.

What do you call a little kid with no friends?

A Sandy Hook survivor.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
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Coffee Mug

What would a midget be jealous of at a little kid?

The kid is over 5 feet tall.

What did the little kid do with the dead battery?

He buried it.

What's the difference between a little kid and a lesbian?

A little kid shouldn't run with scissors, a lesbian shouldn't scissor with the runs.

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Disney Jokes More Disney Jokes

Which knee?

Mickey: Disney

What's a mexican's favorite Disney movie?

Mow lawn. Sorry.

Check Jokes More Check Jokes

Why does a Belgian take a stone and a flashlight to bed?

The stone to throw the lights out, the flashlight to check if the lights are really out

Why do Australians take forever to play chess?

Because they never make it past the first check, mate.

Mexican Jokes More Mexican Jokes

Why does Mexjco do poorly in the olympics?

Because all the Mexicans who can run fast, swim fast and jump high are in the states.

What do you call a Mexican garden hose in Canada?

Joseh

Orphanage Jokes More Orphanage Jokes

Why did I leave my grades at the orphanage?

I couldn't raise them

What's the difference between a terrorist training camp and an orphanage?

Terrorists blow them selves up at camp on accident

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

How is my wife doing?

Doctor: I'm so sorry. The accident has left her in a vegetative-like state and I don't think she'll ever recover. She can barely move her limbs, if at all, and will be confined to a bed or wheelchair without the ability to ever walk again. You'll need to care for her 24/7, clothe her, feed her, bathe her, and she'll have no control of her bladder or bowels. Again, I'm so, so, sorry... ..... ..... ..... Just kidding! She's dead.

Whatcha inventing?

I call it a picnic. It's a meal but outside with bugs and a high risk of bear attack." "Can I bring my kids " "Sure."

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you know if someone's an expert archer?

Put an apple on your head &amp stand still he'll Tell you.

What do you do with percussionists that lose one of their drumsticks?

A: Stick them up front of the group and tell them to wave their arms!

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?

She didn't want to wake the sleeping tablets!

What do you mean you can't sleep?

It's so easy I could do it with my eyes close! Me: *walks away*

Napoleon Jokes More Napoleon Jokes

Why did Napoleon wear sleeves?

For his armies

What is the difference between Napoleon and his son?

One is a Bonaparte from the other.