Emo Kid Jokes

Why did the emo kid leave the bar?

It was happy hour.

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How do Emo kids reward themselves?

Gold Scars. I'll see myself out.

How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They just sit in the dark and cry.

Where would you find the emo kid at his birthday party?

Just *hanging* out by himself in the bedroom

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, they just sit in the dark and cry.

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Find Jokes More Find Jokes

What if they found the face of Jesus in a piece of toast but it was actually Jesus?

This is my body, I'm nice with jam."

What did the atheist say when he found himself at the Pearly Gates the day he died?

Well I'll be damned!

Sit Jokes More Sit Jokes

What is the difference between a blonde and a hen?

The blonde doesn't sit still when she is on eggs.

What does an arctic wildlife photographer get from sitting around too long?

Polaroids.

Bar Jokes More Bar Jokes

What do you call a mushroom that goes into a bar and buys everyone a drink?

The fun guy

What do ghosts order at the bar?

Sam-BOO!-ca

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many amateur masochists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one; But it takes a WHOLE E.R. room to extract it afterwards. Double joke! "whole... hole." it's a play on words ;)

How many bees does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What's the difference between a tea bag and a used tampon?

What's the Difference between a tea bag and a used tampon - I dunno... - I'm never drinking tea at your house again then!

What do you use to buy drinks?

Bar tender

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What are you praying for?

Husband: For guidance. Wife: Pray for hardness. Leave guidance to me!!!

What do you call a bunch of black children playing in a pile of leaves?

raisin bran

Dark Jokes More Dark Jokes

Why did the wrestlers have to fight in the dark?

A: Their match wouldn't light.

What kind of dog can you best see in the dark?

A glowberman pinscher!

Ocean Jokes More Ocean Jokes

What is 4,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start.

What is the most dishonest fish in the ocean?

A lionfish