Engagement Ring Jokes

What are the three rings of marriage?

The first one is the engagement ring...the second one is the wedding ring...and the third one is the suffering.

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Where do Chicago football fans buy engagement rings?

De Beers

Why are promise rings 1/10th the price of engagement rings?

They only work 10% of the time.

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Chicago Jokes More Chicago Jokes

What is Illinois known for?

The three C's. Chicago, Corn, and Corruption.

What does a Chicago cop say after emptying his clip into a fleeing suspect?

Stop. Police."

Wedding Ring Jokes More Wedding Ring Jokes

What does the date inside of a wedding ring stand for?

best before...

What do you get if you cross a telephone and a marriage bureau ?

A wedding ring !

Telephone Jokes More Telephone Jokes

What's the three fastest ways of communication?

Telephone, telegraph, and tell-a-woman.

How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

How is it May already?

Day coming up tomorrow where people who don't know how calendars work tweet.

Why don't we wait for life on other planets to find us?

Why do we have to do all the work

Ring Jokes More Ring Jokes

How did the phone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.

Why's the couch smell like pee?

Flashback to me watching The Ring alone Me: *points at son* I think someone had another "accident."

3 Jokes More 3 Jokes

How does Microsoft count to 10?

1, 2, 3, 95, 98, ME, NT, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10.

Why Wasn't Jesus born in Italy?

They couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin.

10 Jokes More 10 Jokes

How do spiders drive a van?

10 on top 10 below Where would you like to go Get in. Get in the Spider Van.

What do you call one white guy surrounded by 10 black guys?

Coach. What do you call one white guy surrounded by 100 black guys Warden.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What is the best stand-up routine of our time?

I nominate Chris Rock's Never Scared.

Why did the composer spend all his time in bed?

He wrote sheet music.