Exorcise Jokes

How do you exorcise a demon?

Make him run a lap then do 10 push-ups and sit-ups

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How do Catholic church priests stay healthy?

They exorcise.

What happens if you don't pay the priest who exorcises your house?

He'll re-possess it

What do you call the ghost of a dessert-chef who returns no matter how many times they're exorcised?

A boo-meringue

What do you do to get rid of an obese demon?

You exorcise him.

How did the possessed lady lose weight?

Diet and exorcise.

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Lap Jokes More Lap Jokes

Why do athletes prefer nuns to time their laps?

Because when a nun times anything it's zero. (0*n=0) :D

What did the sea-world trainer's friend say to him after he spilled water on his friends lap?

You did that on porpoise

Rid Jokes More Rid Jokes

How do we get rid of Ebola?

Put all the infected on a Malaysian Airplane

How do you get rid of an itch?

Start from scratch.

Priest Jokes More Priest Jokes

What do you call a priest who has had too much sacramental wine?

An Alcatholic.

What did the nun say to the priest?

Shut up

Possess Jokes More Possess Jokes

What do you call a possessed chicken?

Poultrygeist.

Who did the breeder call when his horse was possessed by an evil spirit?

An exhorsist!

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happened when the joker dropped an elephant carrying a ten ton weight on Batman and Robin?

They became flatman and ribbon. has left the building.

What happens to a bacteria when he travels from his home colony to another?

He experiences culture shock.

10 Jokes More 10 Jokes

Who are the fastest readers on earth?

9/11 victims.... They can clear 10 stories in 5 seconds.

There are 10 types of people in this world...

Those who understand binary and those who don't

Weight Jokes More Weight Jokes

What's the best way for an American to lose weight?

Gamble in British currency.

How do you do it?

Me- "It's easy, I just gain weight."

Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

Why do the models on the catwalks always look so angry?

I would have been very happy to get paid to just walk around in fancy clothes.

Why did the janitor take early retirement?

Because he realized that grime doesn't pay.