Farmer Jokes

Why did the farmer stop smoking with his cattle?

Because the steaks were too high...

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What's a fresh vegetable?

One that insults a farmer.

What do pirate farmers charge for their corn?

A buccaneer

What did the farmer say when all his cows charged him at once ?

I'm on the horns of a dilemma here !

Why did the farmer fence in the bull?

The farmer had too much of a steak in him to let him go!

How did the farmer find his girlfriend?

He tractor!

Why did the Farmer win a Nobel-Prize?

Because he was outstanding in his field

Why did the farmer fire the DJ?

Because he kept on dropping beets.

What did the cow say when it saw the farmer twice in one day?

Deja Moo!

Why did the farmer get nominated for an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field. Why didn't the farmer make it to the award ceremony Because he was out standing in his field.

What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk ?

An udder failure !

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How did the farmer grow his portfolio?

Cornstock

Why don't cows ever have any money?

Because the farmers milk them dry!

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Tractor Jokes More Tractor Jokes

What do you call a bunch of tractors parked in front of a McDonald's on Friday night in Wisconsin?

Prom night.

How did the farmer find his lost cow?

He tractor down

Paris Hilton Jokes More Paris Hilton Jokes

What do you get when you cross Paris Hilton with Iggy Azalea?

A horribly depraved piece of human garbage.

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a farmer?

A farmer shucks between fits.

Offa Jokes More Offa Jokes

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scotsman?

Mick Jagger says, "Hey you, get offa' my cloud." A Scotsman says, "Hey McCloud, get offa' my ewe."

Whats the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish farmer?

Mick Jagger sings eh you, get offa mai cloud, but the Scottish farmer says eh McLeod, get offa mai ewe!

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between Americans and yogurt?

If you leave yogurt alone for 200 years it'll grow a culture

Whats the difference between you and a bucket of turds?

The bucket

Mc Cloud Jokes More Mc Cloud Jokes

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a scottish sheep herder?

One says, "hey, you! Get off my cloud!", and the other one says, "hey, McCloud! Get off of my ewe!"

What's the difference between the Rolling Stones and Scotsman?

The Rolling Stones say "Hey, you, get off of my cloud." A Scotsman says "Hey, McCloud, get off of my ewe."

Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

How do you find Will Smith when he's lost in the snow?

You look for the fresh prints.

What do a hurricane and a divorce in Virginia have in common?

Screaming, crying, and somebody loses a trailer!

Mick Jagger Jokes More Mick Jagger Jokes

What is the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish farmer?

One says, "Hey, you, get off of my cloud!". The other says "Hey, McCloud, get off of my ewe!".

Whats the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish farmer?

Mick Jagger sings eh you, get offa mai cloud, but the Scottish farmer says eh McLeod, get offa mai ewe!

Let Jokes More Let Jokes

How are you so strong?

LET ME GO TINY DANCER

How do cats let us know that they are in pain ?

Me...........Owwwwww!!