Tractor Jokes

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

Where's my tractor?

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Why did the man sleep under the tractor?

Because he wanted to wake up oily.

What's does an extractor fan sound like?

I used to love tractors

What do you call a bunch of tractors parked in front of a McDonald's on Friday night in Iowa?

Prom

How did the farmer find his wife?

He tractor down

How did the farmer find his daughter?

He Tractor.

What does the farmer, looking for his tractor, say?

Where is my tractor?

What does a duck call a tractor?

A Quakter

How does a tractor break up with its boyfriend?

With a John Deere letter.

What do you call a person who loved tractors but doesn't any more?

An extractor fan

What does an apple and an apple tree have in common?

A: They both don't drive tractors.

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Why could Jimmy not drive a tractor?

Because he had no arms or legs. Why Because he is a potato.

What do you call a bunch of tractors parked in front of a McDonald's on Friday night in Wisconsin?

Prom night.

Whats a farmers best dating advice?

A tractor

How did the farmer find his lost cow?

He tractor down

How did the farmer find his girlfriend?

He tractor!

What do you get when you play country music backwards?

You get your job back, you get your wife back and you get your tractor back.

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There is lotion and used tissues laying around

What time is it in Ireland when someone farts too much?

Two-forty (use an Irish accent)... It's two-farty

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What do you call a mean Potato?

A Dictator.

What's an Irish seven course meal?

A six pack and a potato

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What do you say to an alien with two heads?

Hello. Hello.

Why haven't we found aliens yet ?

because they are searching for intelligent life too.

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Why are churches never broke?

Because Jesus saves.

Why did little Jimmy break open his computer?

It said that it had 20 cookies in it.

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What do you call a man who used to like tractors?

An extractor fan!

What do you call a person who loved tractors but doesn't any more?

An extractor fan

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What do you call it when a bunch of stoned poets overthrow the government?

A Haiku.

How do you know if a blonde has been sending e-mail?

A: You see a bunch of envelopes stuffed into the disk drive.

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How do you get a person with podophobia to leave?

Just say "shoe".

What do a black guy and a paraplegic have in common?

They're both only three fifths of a person

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What do you call a hobbit that looks good in pictures?

Frodo-genic

What's black and looks good on a lawyer?

An unconvicted felon.