Faucet Jokes

Why did the faucet turn on?

It was feeling .

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Why couldn't the faucet be within 100 feet of the pasta bowl?

A: There was a restraining order.

How many bureaucrats does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to assure that everything possible is being done about the situation and the other one to screw it into the faucet.

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Restrain Order Jokes More Restrain Order Jokes

What's the biggest sign she's just not into you?

a restraining order.

What gets bigger every time I watch my neighbor undress in her bedroom window?

The restraining order

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

What does Pingu say when he feels suicidal?

Noose Noose

What did the salad wearing a tuxedo say?

I feel a bit overdressed."

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

Because he can't run home

Why did Simba have trouble returning to Pride Rock?

He ran into trafiki.

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many alternative school kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one, but they get extra credits for it

How many ska kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to drop it and six to pick it up pick it up pick it up

Situation Jokes More Situation Jokes

How many bureaucrats does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to assure that everything possible is being done about the situation and the other one to screw it into the faucet.

What do you call a pachyderm that has nothing to do with the situation?

Irrelelephant.

Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many Bernie supporters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One to hold the lightbulb, and the rest of the world to revolve around them

How many surreal artists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Three, one to hold the giraffe, and one to put the clocks in the bath tub.

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb?

One. We are efficient and don't like humour.

How many retards does it take to change a light bulb?

Well, line up so that I can find out..

Water Faucet Jokes More Water Faucet Jokes

What did the sink say to the water faucet?

A: You're a real drip.

How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just two. One to explain to the public that everything possible is being done to solve the problem, and the other to screw the lightbulb into the water faucet.