Gnome Jokes

What do you call a gnome who dresses nice?

A metronome!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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What do you get when you cross Gnomes and Worgen??

Micro-Worgenisms! (From my Bizzard support ticket response today.)

How many gnomes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just the two, really. Or as many as will fit, if theyre feeling frisky.

What's the difference between a gnome and an elf?

Gnomenclature.

How do I stop a Christmas Gnome being airsick on the sledge?

Gnome : Put a five pound note between his teeth and stick his head over the side of the sledge.

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Witch Jokes More Witch Jokes

Why couldn't the witch get pregnant?

Her husband had a holloween-ie.

Why couldn't the wizard get the witch pregnant?

He had a hollow-weenie

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many non-humorous people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One

How many doctors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one but he has to have a nurse to tell him which end to screw in.

Recognize Jokes More Recognize Jokes

How do you recognize a rich ethiopian?

He only wears Rolex around his waist.

How recognize a blonde's computer ?

There is correction fluid on screen.

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

What kinds of vegetables did Ghandi prefer?

Peace and carrots... Thought this up at work today. I'm sure it's been done before but it made me chuckle...

What's your favorite joke appropriate for a 6-8 year old?

I am a ski instructor and I've recently been teaching these two boys who are 6 and 8 year old brothers. I realized today that I know zero jokes appropriate enough or funny to this demographic. I feel like they think I am super boring. Give me some help to make the chairlift more exciting!!

Tick Jokes More Tick Jokes

What do you call a midget in a subway saying, "tick...tick...tick..."?

A metro-gnome

What do you call a tick on the moon?

A lunatic.

Perfect Time Jokes More Perfect Time Jokes

What's the perfect time to go to the dentist?

Two thirty.

What do you call a city-dwelling dwarf that keeps perfect time?

A metro-gnome

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

What did the salad wearing a tuxedo say?

I feel a bit overdressed."

What do you call a Mexican melon?

A cantelopez! Came up with this on all by myself. I'm a new Dad, so I feel as if I've significantly leveled up my Dad Joke ability.

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What do you get if you cross a bee with a parrot?

An animal that's always telling you how busy it is!

Why didn't the Marshmallow Peep cross the road on Easter?

Because it was a little chicken.