Gnome Jokes

What do you call a gnome who dresses nice?

A metronome!

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What do you get when you cross Gnomes and Worgen??

Micro-Worgenisms! (From my Bizzard support ticket response today.)

How many gnomes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just the two, really. Or as many as will fit, if theyre feeling frisky.

What's the difference between a gnome and an elf?

Gnomenclature.

How do I stop a Christmas Gnome being airsick on the sledge?

Gnome : Put a five pound note between his teeth and stick his head over the side of the sledge.

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One Jokes More One Jokes

Why does Mexico rarely wins medals at the olympic games?

All the ones who can run/swim/jump already made it to America.

What's the do a girlfriend and an ice cream cone have in common?

The ones that are hot don't last as long

Metrognome Jokes More Metrognome Jokes

What do you call a punctual urban garden gnome?

A metrognome.

What does Mozart put on his front lawn?

Metrognomes

Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

Why did the pigeon hate the crow?

because he was in the coo klux klan

What do you call a group of people who hate Mexicans?

Que Que Que

Fit Jokes More Fit Jokes

What size bed comfortably fits a married couple?

Twin. Because the husband has to sleep on the couch.

How many Mexican clowns can you fit in a car?

No, seriously. Cuz I bet it's a lot

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

What do you call a bloke with a bus on his head?

Dead.

Why wasn't the patient concerned when she was told she had a brain tumor?

The doctor said it was all in her head

Tick Jokes More Tick Jokes

Why did the German watchmaker say to the watch that kept saying "Tick, tick, tick, tick,..."?

Ve haff vays of meking you tock."

How can you tell when witches are carrying a time bomb?

You can hear their brooms tick!

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many teenage mutant ninja turtules does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. It's a huge problem.

How many doctors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one but he has to have a nurse to tell him which end to screw in.

Elf Jokes More Elf Jokes

What do you call an elf that follows Scientology?

Elron Hubbard

What's the difference between a gnome and an elf?

Gnomenclature.