House Fire Jokes

What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?

Stephen Hawkings after a house fire.

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What's black and sits on top of a staircase?

Stephen Hawking in a house fire.

What do you call and autistic child caught in a house fire?

A baked potato

What do you call a politician in a house fire?

Burning Sanders!

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Why does it smell bad when you destroy fans?

Because you're breaking wind.

What is it called when someone gets destroyed at online chess?

Extreme Pawnage

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What do you call Stephen Hawking before he got motor neuron disease?

Stephen Walkin

Who would win in a fight between Muhammad Ali and Stephen Hawking?

Parkinson's

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How does Steven Hawking refresh after a long work day?

F5 (sorry Imgoingtohellforthis)

Why does Steven Hawking hate the band Muse?

Because he can't stand their song Uprising, it wants him to rise up and take the power back.

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Why are hurricanes always named after white people?

Because white people destroy everything.

How do i know you're not 1 of them?

Were you bit ! What ! Do you not know what a hurricane is

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What happens when someone mixes Francium, Oxygen, Tungsten, and Nitrogen after it explodes?

The chemist may frown.

What happened to the Christian family when they didn't pay their exorcist?

THEIR HOUSE GOT REPOSSESSED!

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How can I trust you again?

H: She meant nothing to me! M: Not that. You bought lite sour cream!

Where were you born?

Me: Missouri. I: What state are you in now? M: Apathy. I: That's not what I meant. M: I don't care.

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What's the diagnosis doctor?

What is your zodiac sign ' 'Cancer.' 'What a coincidence!'

What do you call it when a prayer is answered?

A coincidence.

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Where to, the Caribbean or Hawaii?

Me: No, this is just my lunch.

What Do You Call A Mexican From The Caribbean?

A Carabiner