Letter P Jokes

What's long, hard and bendable and contains the letters p, e, n, i, s?

Your spine.

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What body part is long, hard, bendable, and contains the letters p, e, n, i, s?

Spine

What letter is like a vegetable?

The letter P.

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How many muslims does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

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What do you call Stephen Hawking rolling away from an explosion?

Hot wheels (First joke, hope you like it.)

Miss Jokes More Miss Jokes

What do you call a six sided shape that's missing?

A hex-a-gone

Why can't Miss Piggy count to 100?

At 69 she always gets a frog in her throat.

Body Jokes More Body Jokes

What do funeral home staff do if they mess up transporting a body?

They go back and re-herse.

When you gonna be famous?

I tell her, 'As soon as they find the bodies.'

Reddit Jokes More Reddit Jokes

Who leaked all of Reddit's most sensitive secrets?

Edward Snooden.

Whats the V in DVD stand for?

Cuz if it were lying down it wouldnt make any sense. (first post to reddit, made up this joke today .. be kind)

Sentence Jokes More Sentence Jokes

How's my life?

Let's just say I'm starting a lot of sentences with "let's just say".

Why did the man with a stammer never get out of jail?

He couldn't finish his sentence.

Vegetable Jokes More Vegetable Jokes

What vegetable needs a plumber?

A leek.

Which part of a vegetable is the hardest to chew?

The wheelchair

Middle Jokes More Middle Jokes

What do you call a town in the middle of the Arctic Ocean?

An Iceburgh.

What's that pig doing in the middle of the road with a red light on its head?

Didn't you tell me to put out a stop swine

Thousand Jokes More Thousand Jokes

What did Daniel Boone say to Davey Crocket when thousands of Mexicans charged at them at the Alamo?

Davey.... are we pouring concrete today "

What two words have thousands of letters in them?

Post office.