Liner Jokes

Who just can't get enough of one liners?

Coke addicts.

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What's funnier than a one liner?

A two liner.

Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners?

Cause he can't do stand-up.

How does a one liner hurt its readers?

With its punchline

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Cause Jokes More Cause Jokes

Why are firetrucks red?

You see, firetrucks have 4 wheels, can carry 8 men and 4+ 8 = 12. There are 12 inches in a ruler and Queen Elizabeth was a ruler. There was once a ship named Elizabeth that sailed the seas. Fish live in the seas and fish have fins. People from Finland are called Fins. Finland and Russia had a war a long time ago. Russia has red on its flag and that's why they're red. Cause they're always russian around.

Why don't Muslims fight each other often?

Cause they don't want no beef Edit: I'm going to crawl back into my hole now

Whatcha Jokes More Whatcha Jokes

Whatcha doing?

Me: "Going on twitter to hang out." H: "Twitter is an app, not a place." Me: *whispers venomously* "Is too a place!!"

Whatcha doing on the PC?

Daughter: Looking at peckers. M: WHAT ! D: Science project on chickens. M: Oh. D: You walked RIGHT into that.

Force Jokes More Force Jokes

What do jedi hate the most?

Forced jokes.

What do clothes and religion have in common?

Someone invented them and forced them on everyone.

Vladimir Putin Jokes More Vladimir Putin Jokes

What is Vladimir Putin's favourite Justin Timberlake song?

Crimea river

What do Vladimir Putin, Crude Oil, and the Russian Ruble have in common?

They're all going to be 65 this year.

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of dinosaur writes poetry?

A Bronte-saurus.

What kind of food can you color with?

A cranberry! Esher (my Grandson) age 5

Coke Jokes More Coke Jokes

What is brown and sticky?

Michael J Fox opening a can of coke

How do you make an elephant float?

A can of coke, a scoop of vanilla ice cream, and an elephant.

Short Jokes More Short Jokes

Why can't you wear shorts in the Ukraine?

Chernobyl fallout...

Whats worst than a super long joke?

A short one with no punchline

Smash Jokes More Smash Jokes

What did Vladimir Putin say after dropping a smashing one-liner?

Putout

Whats the difference between a watermelon and a baby?

One is fun to smash with a sledgehammer and the other one is a watermelon