Main Stream Jokes

How did the hipster drown?

By swimming in the main stream.

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Why did the hipster salmon not get to breed?

He didnt use the main stream

How do you get a hipster to take a shower?

Give them a leaky showerhead. You know, so they can avoid the main stream.

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Swim Jokes More Swim Jokes

Why shouldn't white people go swimming?

Nobody likes a soggy cracker!

Why can't Mexico field a good Olympic team?

Because everyone that can run, jump or swim is already here in the US.

Drown Jokes More Drown Jokes

What did u do last night?

Me: I drowned my swallows in whiskey Don't u mean sorrows Me covering tub of dead birds: is that the saying

Why did the hippie drowned in the ocean?

Because he was too far out. Ba dum bum tissss

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why are aussie bogans and necrophiliacs the same?

They both want to crack open a cold one.

What size box of condoms do you never want to buy?

The family size.

Maine Jokes More Maine Jokes

What's the difference between a Maine girl and a moose?

15 lbs and a flannel shirt.

What state did the programmer start her road trip in?

Maine

Hipster Jokes More Hipster Jokes

Why do hipsters love 'Raiders of the Lost Ark'?

because it was the first Indie film.

What did the hipster say the day after thanksgiving?

I liked the leftovers before they were cool.

Shower Jokes More Shower Jokes

How did I get here?

I'm sure my neighbors ask the same question every time they catch me in their house...taking a shower.

How do you get a hipster to take a shower?

Give them a leaky showerhead. You know, so they can avoid the main stream.

Breed Jokes More Breed Jokes

What do you get when you breed an elephant with a rhino?

A visit from the university board of ethics.

How much water does a frog need to breed?

Knee-deep! Knee-deep! Knee-deep!

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why do arabs use Colgate before going to the airport?

because it provides cavity protection

Why don't you talk to John anymore, you used to be best friends?

Son: Well, would you be friends with someone who was stupid, took drugs and was drunk all the time? Mom: No, Never! Son: Well neither would he!