Breed Jokes

Why does the baker have so many loaves?

Because they bred.

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How much water does a frog need to breed?

Knee-deep! Knee-deep! Knee-deep!

What do you call children born of ginger people?

Ginger-bred

Why did the hipster salmon not get to breed?

He didnt use the main stream

What do you get when you breed an elephant with a rhino?

A visit from the university board of ethics.

What do you get by cross-breeding a jehovahs witness and an atheist?

Someone who pointlessly knocks on the door.

What do you call a family of redheads?

Gingerbread. Edit: This is more of an out-loud joke. So, maybe it'll help if it read: "Ginger-bred" instead.

What is the only breed of dog a boxer is afraid of?

A Doberman puncher!

What do you get if you breed a Green Lantern, a car and an atheist?

Willing suspension of disbelief

What breed of dog is the most depressing...?

A melancholy.

Which religion breeds terrorism the most?

Not Islam

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Why did Maria Shriver marry Arnold Schwarzenegger?

To breed a Kennedy that could take a bullet.

What do you get when you cross a cricket with a bat?

Nothing as they cannot breed with each other

What type of dog did the tweaker have?

A pure bred meth lab.

How many pandas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Technically, just two, but it is really hard to get them to breed in captivity.

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Idea Jokes More Idea Jokes

What gave you that idea?

queried the octopus. "Oh, I have inside information" said the whale.

What did the ant whisper into the elephant's ear that made the elephant faint?

I'm going to be the mother of your children." I have no idea whether the joke is lost in translation...

Terrorism Jokes More Terrorism Jokes

What did the ghost say during its planned act of terrorism?

Allaboo Akbar.

Which religion breeds terrorism the most?

Not Islam

Doberman Jokes More Doberman Jokes

What is the only breed of dog a boxer is afraid of?

A Doberman puncher!

Why are dogs bad at poker?

Because they wag their tails whenever they have a good hand. Why did John's dog win the poker tournament Because he's a Doberman.

Door Jokes More Door Jokes

What do you call a kid with no arms or legs at the front door?

Matt.

Why did the door to door sales man get nervous and run away?

He was selling In-Security Heh yeah i dunno i thought it up in a dream and I'm still half asleep bye

Visit Jokes More Visit Jokes

How do you know when a white girl recently visited her friends grave?

There's Starbucks next to the headstone.

What do an Iraqi baby, an American president, and a homesick Brit visiting Jerusalem all want?

They all want either pees, peace or peas in the middle east.

Water Jokes More Water Jokes

Where do hipsters get their water?

From a well, actually.

What do you get when water washes away dirt?

a road

Disbelief Jokes More Disbelief Jokes

What do you get if you breed a Green Lantern, a car and an atheist?

Willing suspension of disbelief

What do you get if you cross a Green Lantern, a car and an atheist?

Willing suspension of disbelief.

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

What's an empty suit of armor doing on the drivers side of a car?

He went out for the knight. OK I'll leave now

What happened when the car took LSD?

It went on a road trip and had an auto body experience!