Majority Jokes

What country are the majority of dress pants made?

Khakistan!

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Why do rappers love weed so much?

Because the majority of their relatives used to pick it

What's funny about majorities?

Most things.

Why are the majority of school shooters white?

Because the black kids don't wanna get kicked off the basketball team.

What are the three types of men?

A: The handsome the caring and the majority.

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Why do women live longer than men?

Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does!

Why won't the Alzheimer's patient pay attention to you?

Because he doesn't know the time of day.

Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

What if she drinks too much, or gets high?

Me: You really aren't my kid are you

What do white girls drink from?

OC Muggs!

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between me and Jimmy Fallon?

I can get through one of his skits without laughing

What's the difference between Prince and a White Dwarf?

Nothing, they're both dead stars.

Country Jokes More Country Jokes

What country has the most internet crimes?

E-gypt

How many countries does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Five. Germany to start it, France to try and then give up almost immediately, Italy to start, give up, and try again from the other side, America to finish it and claim credit for the whole thing, and Switzerland to sit in the dark and pretend that nothing happened.

Porch Jokes More Porch Jokes

What do you call an Irish man who won't leave your porch?

Paddy O' furniture

What do you call an Irishman sitting on your front porch?

Paddy O'Furniture

Warlock Jokes More Warlock Jokes

What subject did the Warlock major in at University?

Fel-osophy

How does a wizard keep his potions safe from burglary?

A: With a warlock.

Refer Jokes More Refer Jokes

Why do engineering majors refer to themselves "engineers"?

You don't see literature majors calling themselves Starbucks baristas

How do you refer to a necessary bear?

Pandatory. Stupid, I know.

Slide Jokes More Slide Jokes

What does a Mexican get when he slides down a hill?

Gracias

Why did the Canadian cross the road?

Because that's the direction his car was sliding.