Michael Phelps Jokes

Why does Michael Phelps make a good boyfriend?

He is a good breast-stroker.

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How amazing is Michael Phelps?

He's got like a Brazilian Medals.

What did Michael Phelps say after the Mens 200m?

I would've gotten second if it weren't for you medaling kids.

Why does Michael Phelps refuse to aid his teammates in preparing for the Olympics?

He only Phelps himself.

Why aren't the Williams sisters competing against Michael Phelps?

Black people can't swim.

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Refuse Jokes More Refuse Jokes

Why did the hotel refuse hospitality to the Navy?

They didn't want their rooms covered with seamen.

Why did he refuse help?

He was in The Nile

Medale Jokes More Medale Jokes

What did Lochte say after his teammates told the police what really happened?

and I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you medaling kids!"

What did Michael Phelps say after the Mens 200m?

I would've gotten second if it weren't for you medaling kids.

Brazilian Jokes More Brazilian Jokes

What do Brazilian cats speak?

Purr-tuguese

How many armed men does it take to extort an Olympic athlete?

A Brazilian.

Aid Jokes More Aid Jokes

Why does Michael Phelps refuse to aid his teammates in preparing for the Olympics?

He only Phelps himself.

What is the difference between Ellen Pao her brain and Aids?

Aids develops itself

Swim Jokes More Swim Jokes

What's big, yellow, and can't swim?

A schoolbus full of children.

What do Scrooge McDuck and dragons have in common?

They love to swim in gold coins.

Phelp Jokes More Phelp Jokes

Who robbed Lochte at the Olympics?

Phelps.

Why does Michael Phelps refuse to aid his teammates in preparing for the Olympics?

He only Phelps himself.

Black People Jokes More Black People Jokes

What do you call a group of black people?

Antique farm equipment.

What do you call a police officer that shoots black people?

A police officer in America.

Compete Jokes More Compete Jokes

Why do you never see a church with free Wi-Fi?

Because no church wants to compete with an invisible power that actually works.

Why did the "Ringling Bros." Circus finally go out of business?

They couldn't compete with the circus in Washington DC any longer.