Compete Jokes

What is the name of one of the Chinese gymnasts competing at the Rio Olympics?

Wai Tu Yung

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What's the difference between a Russian Potato and a U.S. Potato?

The U.S. potato can still compete in the Special Olympics.

Why don't Germans compete in marathons?

They have a sad history of not finishing off races.

Why aren't the Williams sisters competing against Michael Phelps?

Black people can't swim.

What is the only olympic sport that mexicans can compete in?

Bordercross

Why don't churches, synagogues, mosques and temples have Wi-Fi?

Because religions don't like competing with an invisible power that actually works.

Why do you never see a church with free Wi-Fi?

Because no church wants to compete with an invisible power that actually works.

Why do churches ban Wifi Networks?

Because they don't want to compete with an invisible connection that actually works.

Why did the "Ringling Bros." Circus finally go out of business?

They couldn't compete with the circus in Washington DC any longer.

How many Aquarians does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: A hundred but they'll all be competing to be the one to change the bulb and bring light to the world.

Why do churches ban Wi-Fi?

Because they can't compete with an invisible power that actually exists

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What did Simon's dad, Paul, say to his son to encourage him just before he went to compete in the National Leg Breaking Championships?

Have a good one, son."

What did fruit loops say when launching their product to compete with cheerios?

Toucan play at that game

What do Leonardo Dicaprio Babe Ruth have in common?

They both won when neither of them were competing against black people!

What's the similarity between your zero-exercise lifestyle and a professional weight-lifter competing in the Olympics?

They both involve muscles and they both result in a-trophy.

How many Aquarians does it take to change a lightbulb?

A hundred but they'll all be competing to be the one to change the bulb and bring light to the world.

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Special Olympics Jokes More Special Olympics Jokes

What is better than coming second in the Special Olympics?

Not being retarded. Sorry guys. Poor taste. But it is what it is.

What's better than winning gold at the special Olympics?

Walking

Business Jokes More Business Jokes

What did the alcoholic Dad, away on business, say to the bartender at the hotel bar?

I'm ready to partiem with my perdiem *sorry, not a dad, and the bar tender didn't laugh either

What do you call a nun that works for your company?

Nun of your business.

Russian Jokes More Russian Jokes

What do you call Russian trees?

Dimitrees

Why did the CIA torture the Russian wasp?

Because he was a cagey bee agent.

Wi Fi Jokes More Wi Fi Jokes

Why do churches ban Wi-Fi?

Because they can't compete with an invisible power that actually exists

Why don't churches, synagogues, mosques and temples have Wi-Fi?

Because religions don't like competing with an invisible power that actually works.

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

Did you hear about the chameleon who couldn't change color?

They had a reptile dysfunction.

How many guys wearing turbans does it take to change a light bulb?

Sikhs.

Mosque Jokes More Mosque Jokes

What's the difference between a church and a mosque?

In a church you see pew, pew pew. In a mosque you hear pew pew pew.

Why don't churches, synagogues, mosques and temples have Wi-Fi?

Because religions don't like competing with an invisible power that actually works.

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What do you call an Irishman who bounces off things?

Rick O'Shea

What's the one thing make a wish foundation can't give you?

The cure

Mexican Jokes More Mexican Jokes

How many Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, that's a Mexican's job.

What do you call a group of Mexicans doing work?

Manuel labour.