Patty Jokes

Hand them a mechanical pencil with the lead out and see how the use it. Child A: look mom I'm a doctor! - expect them to live to 80+ years. Child B: look mom I'm a heroin user! - expect them to live to about 27.

Why were some people living in the 80s so healthy?

Because they had good high jeans

Irish Man Jokes More Irish Man Jokes

How many potatoes does it take to starve an Irish man?

None

How many irish men does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two, One to hold the light and, one to drink until the room starts spinning!

Irish Girl Jokes More Irish Girl Jokes

What is the name of an Irish girl who hangs out on your lawn?

Patti O'Furniture

What do you call an Irish girl sitting on a hot griddle holding a piece of cheese?

A paddy melt!!

Hamburger Jokes More Hamburger Jokes

How did the jury find the hamburger?

Grill-ty as charred!

Where do hamburgers go to dance?

The meat-ball.

Daughter Jokes More Daughter Jokes

Why did the man name his daughter Candy?

She was the sweetest mistake he ever made.

Why so long face?

Latvian say, "I was thinking of my daughter. She has been lie with soldier for potato feed baby."

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

What's the main difference between light and hard?

I can go to sleep with a light on

Why did the Italian wear handcuffs to bed?

So he wouldn't talk in his sleep

Cheeseburger Jokes More Cheeseburger Jokes

What do some people have against cheeseburgers?

They say 'Burgers can't be cheesy!'

Why does the house only have one window?

Cheeseburger (joke from my 3 year old neice this evening)