Praise Jokes

What did God say to Mary after impregnating her?

Praise the Load

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What's the highest form of praise you can receive from a pimp?

A: A back-handed compliment.

What do you call someone who gets Praise and Merit on Reddit?

Creddit!!!!

How many pick-up artists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Zero. They just keep praising and negging it, and then get upset when it doesn't screw.

What do you call a person who steals and is then praised by his/her friends?

A Redditor.

Why do I praise Neo?

Because I'm autistic xD XDXD

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Redditor Jokes More Redditor Jokes

What did the moderator say to the redditor?

Deleted

What do redditors and litterers have in common?

I'm just gonna leave this here."

God Jokes More God Jokes

What's the same with 9/11 and Goliath and the giant?

They were both caused by a message from god.

What's the difference between a doctor and God?

God doesn't walk around thinking he's a doctor.

Impregnate Jokes More Impregnate Jokes

Where do cows stay when they go on vacation?

In a moooo-tel. I just thought of this sitting in my hotel room. Sometimes I feel like i dad joke so hard I impregnate my girlfriend from 100 miles away.

What did God say to Mary after impregnating her?

Praise the Load

Disrespect Jokes More Disrespect Jokes

What do you call a bone that disrespects God?

A Blasfemur

What did the imam say to Betere when he disrespected Muhammad praise be his name?

Ah jihad to Betere. Ah you had to be there

High Form Jokes More High Form Jokes

What's the highest form of praise you can receive from a pimp?

A: A back-handed compliment.

What is the highest form of flattery?

A plateau

Person Jokes More Person Jokes

What do you call a person who had to be amputated after being attacked by an animal?

Claude

What do you call a person who got straight "D's" in medical school?

A Doctor.

Mary Jokes More Mary Jokes

How did Mary and Joseph know that Jesus weighed 4.2 kg?

Cause thay had a weigh in the mangor.

How did Mary fall off the swing?

She had no arms

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Seven one to change and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.

How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just two. One to explain to the public that everything possible is being done to solve the problem, and the other to screw the lightbulb into the water faucet.