Mary Jokes

What did God say to Mary after impregnating her?

Praise the Load

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Couple's Daily Question Mug
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Who is the most successful liar in the world?

Mary. Lied about her extramarital affair, still believed by billions.

Why was Mary's phone bill so high?

She was a roamin' catholic.

Why did Mary fell from the swing ?

Because she hasn't got arms !

Where did Mary go after the explosion?

Everywhere.

Where did Mary go when the bombs went off?

Everywhere.

What's Mary short for?

She's got no legs.

Why did Mary and Joseph's WIFI get hacked?

Because Jesus WEPt.

What is Mary short for?

She has no legs

What is Mary and Joesph's Favorite Snack?

Jeez-its

How did Mary and Joseph know that Jesus weighed 4.2 kg?

Cause thay had a weigh in the mangor.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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Why did Mary get a restraining order against Black Beard the Pirate?

He kept trying to plunder her booty.

What about that rad drum?

Little Drummer Boy: No Mary: Get out

Where did Mary go during the bombing?

Everywhere

Why did Mary fall off the swing?

Because she had no arms. Knock, knock! (Who's there ) Well, it ain't Mary.

Whatever's the matter ?

asked her mother. 'I don't know' replied Mary 'but the teacher thinks I may have caught decimals.'

What is the network admin favourite lullaby?

Mary had a little LAN

How did God get Mary pregnant?

He used the holy immaculate contraception

Who should you pray to if you don't want the airplane that you are on to get diverted?

Diversion Mary

When I was your age I ate every one. Mary: Do you still like crusts Grandma?

Grandma: Yes I do. Mary: Well you can have mine.

What would you do if a bull charged you?

Mary: I'd pay whatever it charged.

How did Mary fall off the swing?

She had no arms

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Second Jokes More Second Jokes

Why are we running so fast?

asked one. "Because" said the second "it says 'tear along the dotted line'!"

Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree?

Because he was drunk Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was tied to the first one Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure

Age Jokes More Age Jokes

What gets better with age?

Necrophilia

What's the difference between an Arab and an American wife?

The age

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

Why doesn't Jesus play basketball?

He got crossed up.

What's your opener?

JESUS: "God loves you." You BUDDHA (crumpling paper that says Life Is Suffering): Me too

Dump Jokes More Dump Jokes

Why did Superman dump Lois for Wonder Woman?

He decided he wanted to date someone in the same League.

What is the difference between a washing machine and a girl?

A washing machine doesn't follow you around after you dump a load in it.

Smoke Jokes More Smoke Jokes

What type of weed are you allowed to smoke during Ramadan?

Tajweed

What do you call a Rapper who smokes too much?

Tupac-aday

Swing Jokes More Swing Jokes

Why did Alice fall off the swing?

A. Because she has no arms. Q. Knock knock *who's there * A. Not Alice...

Why did Joey fall of the swing?

Because he doesn't have arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Joey.

Eat Jokes More Eat Jokes

What did the time traveller do after he ate the last bite of his dinner?

He went back 4 seconds.

What'd you call this again?

Alien Chef: OH MY GOD YOU ATE MY GRANDMOTHER!

Kgb Jokes More Kgb Jokes

Who's there *The Kgb *The kgb who?

Slaps person) we will ask the questions.

What do Marie Curies Notebooks and a defected KGB agent have in common?

They both wont be investigated very closely.