Swedish Jokes

What's the difference between a Swedish jam band and slam dunking a baby?

One's a Swedish Phish and the other's a fetus swish

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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What nationality is not quite one?

Swedish

What did the failed Swedish chef say?

All that hard Bork and nothing to show for it .

What did the Swedish chef say to his girlfriend when he found out she was pregnant?

Abort - Bort - Bort!

What hood was the Swedish cholo from?

StockHOLMES!

Where does a race on the Swedish border end at?

The Finnish line.

What do Swedish people put in their coffee?

Artifical Swedeners

How do you sink a Swedish submarine?

Knock on the hatch.

What do you call a scar left by the Swedish Chef?

A borkmark.

Why do Swedish men always have stupid grins on their faces?

Because they're stupid" said her friend.

How do you catch a Swedish fish?

With a gummy worm as bait

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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Who's a good example of a Swedish Spaniard?

Per Ejemplo.

What do you get when you cross a Swedish tennis pro, a computer virus, and an insatiable hunger for mort flesh?

Cyborg Bjorn Borg hosting smorgasbords at the morgue.

What do Swedish criminals say when the cops are coming?

Pork! Pork! Pork!

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Computer Virus Jokes More Computer Virus Jokes

What illness makes you sneeze on your laptop screen?

A computer virus!

What is a computer virus?

A terminal illness.

Face Jokes More Face Jokes

Whats black and hurts when you get it thrown in your face?

A Piano.

What's the worst part of getting hit in the face with pie?

It's never ending.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a High School girls track team and a tribe of pigmy?

Pigmies are a cunning bunch of runts.

What's the difference between an entomologist and an etymologist?

An etymologist knows.

Catch Jokes More Catch Jokes

How do you catch a whale?

You wait until last call and use a good pick up line.

Why don't hypochondriacs... Why don't hypochondriacs use lighters?

They're afraid of catching fire!

Sink Jokes More Sink Jokes

What do you call a group of rappers in a washing up bowl?

In Sink!

How do you sink a submarine full of blondes?

Knock on the door.

Nationality Jokes More Nationality Jokes

What are their nationalities?

Russian and Finnish!

What nationality are Sprinters?

They Russian. I'll also see myself out.

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

What do locking the keys in your car and getting your girlfriend pregnant have in common?

both can be solved with a coat hanger

What do you call a jazz musician without a girlfriend?

Homeless

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

How's the baby?

Me: He keeps trying to shove socks thru the mail slot. Wife: Aw. His socks or yours Me: Socks is the neighbor's cat..

What is red and hangs around trees?

A baby hit by a snow blower