Swedish Jokes

What's the difference between a Swedish jam band and slam dunking a baby?

One's a Swedish Phish and the other's a fetus swish

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What nationality is not quite one?

Swedish

What did the failed Swedish chef say?

All that hard Bork and nothing to show for it .

What did the Swedish chef say to his girlfriend when he found out she was pregnant?

Abort - Bort - Bort!

What hood was the Swedish cholo from?

StockHOLMES!

Where does a race on the Swedish border end at?

The Finnish line.

What do Swedish people put in their coffee?

Artifical Swedeners

How do you sink a Swedish submarine?

Knock on the hatch.

What do you call a scar left by the Swedish Chef?

A borkmark.

Why do Swedish men always have stupid grins on their faces?

Because they're stupid" said her friend.

How do you catch a Swedish fish?

With a gummy worm as bait

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Who's a good example of a Swedish Spaniard?

Per Ejemplo.

What do you get when you cross a Swedish tennis pro, a computer virus, and an insatiable hunger for mort flesh?

Cyborg Bjorn Borg hosting smorgasbords at the morgue.

What do Swedish criminals say when the cops are coming?

Pork! Pork! Pork!

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Finnish Line Jokes More Finnish Line Jokes

Where does a race on the Swedish border end at?

The Finnish line.

How do you win a Scandinavian race?

By crossing the Finnish line!

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between an old joke and a new one?

Nothing. We're on reddit

What's the difference between public hair and pubic hair?

Pants.

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

Why couldn't the lizard get a girlfriend?

Because he had a reptile dysfunction!

What's the worst thing about your girlfriend having a miscarriage?

Trying to look upset.

Host Jokes More Host Jokes

What do astronauts do to host a party?

They planet.

Why will the USA never go bankrupt?

It will just host a telethon.

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

Why was Edward unable to get out of Russia?

Because he was Snowd en! (according to my friends this joke has been around for awhile, but I hadn't seen it yet, and wanted to share the goof)

What did Ernie say when his friend tried to convince him he was ice cream?

Are you surebert?

Coffee Jokes More Coffee Jokes

Why does the hobo only drink coffee?

Because he has no proper tea! Hehehhehahahahhhehveahhs

How does Henry VIII like his coffee?

Decap.

Bait Jokes More Bait Jokes

Why couldn't the troll catch any fish?

Because other people took the bait.

What is the difference between a fisherman and a lazy student?

One baits his hook the other hates his book.

Hatch Jokes More Hatch Jokes

Knock knock. Who's there? Hatch. Hatch who?

Bless you!

How do you sink an Irish submarine?

A: Knock on the hatch.