Thimble Jokes

What's a thimble?

By definithion, thomething that represenths or thtands for thomething elth. Thymbolithm, y'know.

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How do you fit an elephant in a thimble?

You take the "I" out of "thimble" and the "F" out of "way."

Why is the all-lisp percussion section so quiet?

Because thimbles aren't very loud.

What's the best thing to do with a thimble?

Bang it with a drum-thtick!

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How do you get a little old lady to say the "F" word?

Yell bingo.

How do you get three old ladies to say the "F" word?

Yell "BINGO!"

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Why are there no fertility clinics in Arkansas?

Sooner or later they find a potent cousin.

How can you lift an elephant with one hand?

A. It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant with one hand.

Elephant Jokes More Elephant Jokes

How do you tell the difference between an elephant and a rhinoceros?

Second Kangaroo: The elephant has a better memory.

What does an elephant keep in his trunk?

6 foot of snot

Way Jokes More Way Jokes

How do you get a dead turtle to flip itself back over on its feet?

You take the letter F out of way.

How is making cheese like invading Syria?

You get some Kurds in the way.

Good Thing Jokes More Good Thing Jokes

What's the best thing about dating a homeless chick?

You can drop her off anywhere!

What's the best thing about 21 year olds in bed?

There's 21 of them

Detective Jokes More Detective Jokes

Why did the detective wear a patch on his left eye?

It's his private eye.

What do you get when you cross a stock broker, a detective, and an alligator?

An investigator.

Bang Jokes More Bang Jokes

What did Marily Monroe and Lee Harvey Oswald have in common?

They both banged JFK

What do you get when you cross a drunk woman with a tactical grenade?

Flash-banged. )

Fit Jokes More Fit Jokes

What's the difference between an airplane bathroom and your mom?

Your mom can fit 3 people inside her comfortably!

How do those even fit in your pants?

He replied "They fit like a glove."