Yogi Jokes

What do you call a bear who is athletically flexible?

Yogi

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What did the yogi have for breakfast?

an lette

What did the yogi say after riding his pet llama to the ashram?

Llamaste.

What did the yogi say to his friends when they asked him to leave?

Nah I'ma stay"

Why doesn't Yogi wear shoes?

He likes to go... bearfoot! I'll see myself out...

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Breakfast Jokes More Breakfast Jokes

What'd you have for breakfast?

Me: A bowl of Oreos. CW: Lol you mean Cherrios Me: No.

What do you call a large vehicle that travels the world serving breakfast?

Universal cereal bus

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

How many of our friends do you see?

Just Juan.

What's the difference between real life Friends and the cast of the show Friends?

The ability to binge watch Friends with your friends.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What do you ask a Mexican girl you like?

Netflix and chili

What's the difference ?

What's the difference between getting your girlfriend pregnant and asking how her day went There is no difference, you always regret both!

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Why can't you tell when a Pteradactyl goes to the toilet?

Because the P is silent.

What do you need to have to do the dishes when you don't want to?

Dishcipline This is literally a joke I told in a dream and I remembered it when waking up.

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

What game do lesbians like to play?

Clash of Clams

When you go for a bus ride do you like sitting upstairs or downstairs?

I prefer to ride on top but it's very hard getting the horse up the stairs.

Google Jokes More Google Jokes

How much ice does it take to preserve a dead body?

I ask on twitter because googling it gets people caught.

How do people see so much on internet these days?

They put on the Google!

Tie Jokes More Tie Jokes

Why did Yogi Bear only have a collar and a tie, and not a full dress shirt?

Patiently waits as you all Google pics of Yogi Bear*

How about some snappy one-liners?

Ironically, the only way you could get me to watch 50 shades of gray is if you tied me up and forced me to watch it.

Bear Jokes More Bear Jokes

Why is that bear hanging out in the bar?

ME: He's a well known, gimmick. IAN: Really ME: That's Conan. Conan The Bar Bear, Ian.

What did one cookie say to the other cookie ?

You've got a chip on your shoulder. What did the deer say to the bear Your unbearable