Yogi Jokes

What do you call a bear who is athletically flexible?

Yogi

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What did the yogi have for breakfast?

an lette

What did the yogi say after riding his pet llama to the ashram?

Llamaste.

What did the yogi say to his friends when they asked him to leave?

Nah I'ma stay"

Why doesn't Yogi wear shoes?

He likes to go... bearfoot! I'll see myself out...

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Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

Whats the difference between the English cricket team and a teabag?

A teabag stays in the cup longer

What goes all around the world but stays in one corner the entire time?

Stamps!

Tie Jokes More Tie Jokes

What's the difference between an Engineering student and an Arts student when tying their shoes?

The arts student gets a mark for it.

What do you do with the time saved?

Me: *tying my dogs shoes* Sorry, what

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

Why is it socially acceptable to wear a bikini at the beach but not on the bus?

At the end of the day I'm just a guy in a bikini on the bus.

What do Greek soccer players wear?

Soccer tee's

Bear Jokes More Bear Jokes

What do you call a bear in the rain?

A drizzly bear.

Why was Jesus not born in West Virginia?

Because they couldn't find three wise men or a virgin. Gf sent me this when she was driving through the state.

Nah Jokes More Nah Jokes

What did the homeless yogi say when told to leave the yoga studio?

Nah, I must stay.

What did the Buddhist say when asked if he'd like to move from Tibet to North Korea?

Nah. I'ma stay.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do people in other countries tell if kids are using drugs?

Here in the U.S. we just ask them how many grams are in an ounce.

How do you tell an introvert and an extrovert mathematician apart?

When talking to you, the extrovert mathematician looks at *your* shoes.

Collar Jokes More Collar Jokes

Why did Yogi Bear only have a collar and a tie, and not a full dress shirt?

Patiently waits as you all Google pics of Yogi Bear*

Why is there lipstick on your collar?

she yelled. "It's part of the design," I said, opening up my wardrobe, "Look, I have the entire collection."

Ride Jokes More Ride Jokes

How many Sandpeople does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

You never can tell. The Sandpeople always ride in single file to hide their numbers.

What did the snail say when he was riding on the back of the turtle?

Weeeeeeeeee