When you are driving though the field in Texas, you see a lot of cattle. They are very special. Wanna know why?

They are out standing in the field

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Who's there ! Becker ! Becker who ?

Becker the devil you know !

How do you know if someone has a Samsung phone without asking?

Don't worry, they've already told you the superior qualities it has over all the other smart phones by this time.

Field Jokes More Field Jokes

What happened to the magical tractor?

It turned into a field

What's the difference between Tom Brady and Ben Roethlisberger?

Tom wants his balls illegally deflated on the field and Ben wants that off the field.

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

How Many Friend Zoned Men Does It Take To Screw In A Lightbulb?

None, they just all stand around complaining that it won't screw!

What do you call a person who you had a one night stand with on Mars?

A solmate

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

What do a blonde and a car have in common?

A: They can both drive you crazy.

What did Matthew McConaughey yell at the drive that was about to miss his turn?

A right a right a right!

Texas Jokes More Texas Jokes

What time is it when a Muslim immigrant brings a clock to school in Texas?

Time to get a new principal.

Where's the best place to hide a body in texas?

Oops. Wrong subreddit!

Lot Jokes More Lot Jokes

Why are rabbits like calculators?

They both multiply a lot.

Why do Klingons feel very little pain?

They produce a lot of endworfins.

Cattle Jokes More Cattle Jokes

Why did the cows return to the marijuana field?

It was the pot calling the cattle back.

How do farmers count their cattle?

With a culator

Wanna Jokes More Wanna Jokes

What's up with all these idiots on TV trying to talk to ghosts?

I don't even wanna talk to the living.

How many ADD kids does it take to change a lightbulb?

Wanna go ride bikes (xpost r/imgoingtohellforthis)