Ark Jokes

How did Noah get the animals on the ark?

He pokmon!

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Who was Noah's wife?

Joan of Ark

When Noah was loading the Ark, where did he put the bees?

In the Ark-hives.

Why did the polar bears on Noah's Ark hang out near the insects?

They were looking for the ark tick.

Where did Noah keep his bees?

In the ark hives

What did Noah do while spending time on the ark ?

Fished but he didn't catch much. He only had two worms !

What is an ark?

2) How 2 build ark 3) Can god just build ark 4) Are snakes necessary 5) Is god real or am I high

What animals were last to leave the ark ?

The elephants as they had to pack their trunks !

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What do get if you cross a parrot and a crocodile?

A: An animal that talks your head off.

Which animal makes the best pie?

A human.

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What do you call 500 Natives running on the race track?

The Indy 500.

Why do hipsters love Raiders of the Lost Ark?

Because it's the first Indy movie.

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What did the Israelite say to the american when offering him a drink?

Here, try this, Israeli refreshing!"

What type of lights were on Noah's Ark?

You'd think it would be floodlights, but in reality it was the Israelites!

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Why do people say love is like chemistry?

Because you can put it in someones drink

Why do Russians love pho?

Because they're SO-VIET

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What did the guy say after he finished jacking off?

Well that got a load off my mind.

What's the difference between a woman and a laundry machine?

When I dump a load in the washing machine it doesn't follow me around after

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When the hostess at the restaurant says "table for two?

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How will Santa get in?

Me: Probably through my credit card. 5: what Me: what

What are the 5 best Vegetables of all time?

tink about it. Gai lan, gai lan... gai lan, gai lan, and gai lan. (thanks to Chapelle show skit((making the band)))