Depression Jokes

What's the worst thing to say to a person with depression?

Don't be depressed

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How do you cure depression?

A gun.

Why does rain make people sad?

Because they're in a depression.

What happened to the road?

Depressions.

How many vampires does it take to open the Curtain on Daylight?

Just one with depression.

What do you call somebody who suffers from both depression and trisomy 21?

Down's in the dumps

What do you call a menstruating caucasian with depression?

Red, white and blue

Why did the nuke switch course?

Because a girl on the ground said "I have a boyfriend" later that day the nuke fell into depression

What's Scotland's BIGGEST cause of depression?

Lonely ness.

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What did Santa shout to his toys on Christmas Eve?

ELF NO. 2: Okay everyone sack time!!

What do you call an elf who lost all his toys?

Legolas

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What's an archeologist?

A: Someone whose career is in ruins.

Why was the archeologist sad?

His career was in ruins.

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What do you call it when an Asian's imaginary friend dies?

Make-bereave

Why do cool guys never look at explosions?

Because they die in them.

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What does it say on the door of the Microsoft store?

No shirt, no shoes, no Surface.

What do you call the side door of a brothel in Westeros?

Hodor

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What do you call a 16th-century seer who drinks straight out of the can?

No-straw-damus! (please be gentle on me as you berate me.)

How many Mormons do you take fishing with you?

Two. If you only take one, he'll drink all your beer.

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Why did Chris Benoit quit wrestling?

He wanted to hang with his family.

What did one earring say to the other?

What did one earring say to the other? You go on a head, i'll just hang round 'ere

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What do you tell a person with two swollen eyes ?

Nothing, you already told 'em twice.

What do you call a person who speaks three languages?

Trilingual! Two Languages Bilingual! Only one language Americans

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What happens when a guy from Finland dies?

He is finnished. Ha ha ha. God I am so depressed. :(

What do you call a Finn, who gets something done?

Finnished