Ed Jokes

Why doesn't Ed have a girlfriend?

Because Sheeran

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What is the difference between ID and ED?

One of them is a flimsy thing that refuses to stand up on it's own. The other is a medical condition.

Who invented schools and teaching?

Ed. U. Cation!

Why was Ed single?

Because Sheeran away.

What does your Dad sell ?

Ed: Salt. Ned: Well my dad is a salt seller too. Ed: Shake.

Why ed has no girlfriend?

Cz sheeran

What do dead and black people have in common?

Well, I don't know. -They both get a rest, Ed.

What did the cat do when he didn't want to watch the movie?

He paws-ed it!

What happened to Ed's girlfriend?

Sheeran

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Why did the accountant cross the street?

To crunch numbers.

How many indie bands does it take to change a light bulb?

Eh, it's some number you've probably never heard of.

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What's your least favorite race?

I personally can't stand 5K's

Why do vampires hate Texas Roadhouse?

They can not stand stakes!

Ba Jokes More Ba Jokes

Why did the dog sit in the shade?

It didn't want to be a hotdog. *ba dum tsss *ba dum tish idk

Why should I?

ba dum tss*

Id. Jokes More Id. Jokes

Did you hear that David lost his ID in prague?

Now we just have to call him Dav.

Why was Freud a bad poker player?

he would always go all Id.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

How bad is it, doc?

Well, you'll never run again" So basically the same

How do you make a cat go "meow"?

Take it out of the freezer and run it through a bandsaw.

Refuse Jokes More Refuse Jokes

What do you call it when you refuse to do core workouts?

Abstinence.

What superheroes refuse to fight in North Carolina?

The X-Men

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?

Ask them to say the word, "unionized".

What's the difference between a barrel rider, and a can of Copenhagen?

You can only fit 3 fingers in a can of Copenhagen.

Luke Skywalker Jokes More Luke Skywalker Jokes

Why did Luke Skywalker bluff in a game of poker?

He heard Obi-Wan in his head saying Out, I shall let myself.

What car does Luke Skywalker drive?

A Toyoda