Ed Jokes

Why doesn't Ed have a girlfriend?

Because Sheeran

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What is the difference between ID and ED?

One of them is a flimsy thing that refuses to stand up on it's own. The other is a medical condition.

Who invented schools and teaching?

Ed. U. Cation!

Why was Ed single?

Because Sheeran away.

What does your Dad sell ?

Ed: Salt. Ned: Well my dad is a salt seller too. Ed: Shake.

Why ed has no girlfriend?

Cz sheeran

What do dead and black people have in common?

Well, I don't know. -They both get a rest, Ed.

What did the cat do when he didn't want to watch the movie?

He paws-ed it!

What happened to Ed's girlfriend?

Sheeran

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Id. Jokes More Id. Jokes

What is the difference between ID and ED?

One of them is a flimsy thing that refuses to stand up on it's own. The other is a medical condition.

Did you hear that David lost his ID in prague?

Now we just have to call him Dav.

Ag Jokes More Ag Jokes

What did Iron say to Silver after 30 years?

You haven't AG-ed a bit.

Why did Silver have such a successful rap career?

He was truly Ag.

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

Why are there rugs in front of the stove and the sink?

So women know where to stand in the kitchen.

How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, and ten people to stand around clapping and saying "Aww, how brave."

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

What do I need a girlfriend for?

When the Reddit servers are ready to go down on me anytime?

How are the Seahawks and my girlfriend similar?

they both can get 16 shoved down their throat without choking

Rest Jokes More Rest Jokes

Why did Clemson choose orange as its team color?

So they could play football on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and pick up garbage the rest of the week.

Why did the police shoot the black insomniac?

He resisted a rest.

Fraction Jokes More Fraction Jokes

What is 0.1 as a fraction?

One tenth " Good, now what does 10% mean "Battery low, plug in your phone " Perfect

Why didn't the rest of the fractions like "mc" very much?

Because he was generally known to be a square(ed).

Chance Jokes More Chance Jokes

Why did Leonardo DiCaprio visit Sesame Street?

It was his only chance to see an Oscar

What did Matthew McConaughey say to DiCaprio about his chances of winning the Oscars this year?

It's a fugazi.

School Jokes More School Jokes

Why did the jellybean go to school?

A. Because he wanted to be a smarty

What do you call a movie about a low-magnitude Iron ion that skips school?

Ferrous Bueller's Day Off