Enlighten Jokes

How many buddhists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, they enlighten themselves.

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What happened to the guy who ingested helium?

He became enlightened.

How many feminists does it take to screw a lightbulb?

One to screw it in and nine to write on their blogs about how enlightening the experiment was.

How many racists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Racists dont like to be enlightened.

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Buddhist Jokes More Buddhist Jokes

What did the Buddhist get for Christmas?

Presence.

Why did the Buddhist monk refuse Novocain?

Because he wanted to transcend dental medication.

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

What did the cannibal say when he came home and found his wife chopping up a python and a pygmy?

Oh no not snake and pygmy pie again!

Why did the storm trooper get an iPhone?

He couldn't find the Droid he was looking for

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

What do you call an Asian man blowing another guy?

A Brojob.

Who's the nicest player in the NFL?

Drew Brees. The guy's a saint.

Write Jokes More Write Jokes

How many monkeys does it take to write a Shakespeare novel by accident?

As many as it takes submitters to write an original joke. (by accident)

What did the cow say when she got hit by a car?

Moo." What did the cow saw when she fell into a ditch? "Moo." What did the cow say when she fell onto the electric fence? "Moo." What did the cow say when she got hit by a train? "Why does everything always happen to meeee?" Protip: My dad wrote this joke for me when I was six.

Ingest Jokes More Ingest Jokes

What happened to the guy who ingested helium?

He became enlightened.

Why do fish have such bad manners?

It's because of all the crude oil they keep ingesting.

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

Why do women love Jordan Spieth?

Because he came second.

Why is there music coming out of your printer?

That will be the paper jamming again!"

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two, but you have to get them in there first.

How many teens does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just two, but you need a really big lightbulb.

Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many socialists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

All of them.

How many women does it take. . . to screw in a lightbulb in a convent?

Nun.