Gabe Newell Jokes

Why should we make Gabe Newell president?

There won't be any World War 3. #gaben2k16

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What's the difference between Gabe Newell and a toddler?

A toddler can count past two...

Why should we elect Gabe Newell as President of the United States?

So there won't be a World War III.

Why would Gabe Newell be a good president?

Because then World War 3 would never happen

Who should we vote for the next president?

Gabe Newell. There will never be a World War 3.

Why doesn't Gabe Newell have kids?

He can't get to 3rd base

Why doesn't Gabe Newell play basketball?

Because he can't make 3's

What's Gabe Newell's favourite game?

Angry Nerds

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Why does it take longer to get from 1st to 2nd base, than it does to get from 2nd to 3rd base?

Because there’s a Shortstop in between!

Why doesn't Gabe Newell have kids?

He can't get to 3rd base

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What's the difference between Russian football fans and an old drunkard in a bar at closing time?

Kicking the old drunkard out won't start world war III.

Why should we elect Gabe Newell as President of the United States?

So there won't be a World War III.

World War 3 Jokes More World War 3 Jokes

Why would Gabe Newell be a good president?

Because then World War 3 would never happen

Why should we make Gabe Newell president?

There won't be any World War 3. #gaben2k16

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What do Japanese people do when they have erections?

Vote!

What does a Japanese man do when there's an erection?

He votes!

Count Jokes More Count Jokes

What is WRONG with you?

Me: *slowly counting on fingers* let's see... ok... carry the 1... um... That would be everything

How many beers is that for you today, dear?

Me: Like 4 maybe. 5 tops. Wife: I counted 19. Me: Well I rounded down.

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How do you know when a joke has gone too far?

It's elected President.

Why are kids with DS getting elected prom kings and queens?

Either way, they're going down in history.

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What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a toddler?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window.

What do a 14 year old and an open bucket of bleach have in common?

For twenty bucks either'll take care of your toddler. -&y (yup, mine)

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What has 1 hand, 3 legs, 6 feet, and 2 heads?

The finish line at the Boston Marathon.

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He was high whisk.