Elect Jokes

How did the U. S. elect an Orange as president?

Gerrymandarin.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
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Coffee Mug

What do you call a dog who got re-elected for mayor?

A dog with pawlitical experience.

What's one advantage of electing a woman president of the United States?

We wouldn't have to pay her as much.

What's the difference between an elected official and a piece of garbage?

Garbage gets thrown out.

How do you get elected president of my pants?

By the vote of the Erectional College...

Why should we elect Gabe Newell as President of the United States?

So there won't be a World War III.

How do you know Bernie Sanders got elected?

All your stuff has been donated to charity

What do you get when you elect Bernie Sander's son as president?

A son Bern

What do you call the first black guy elected to the White House?

Precedent.

Why do you need to be 35 to be elected president?

So women don't get elected.

How do you know when a joke has gone too far?

It's elected President.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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Coffee Mug

Why are kids with DS getting elected prom kings and queens?

Either way, they're going down in history.

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U. S. Jokes More U. S. Jokes

What do Filipinos call Canada?

Upper U.S.

Why is the U.S dollar getting stronger?

Fiscal therapy

Crook Jokes More Crook Jokes

What do you call a clown and a crook rolling in feces?

The US elections.

What did the walking staff say when accused of misleading sheep?

I am not a crook!"

Electoral College Jokes More Electoral College Jokes

How was the election rigged?

Through the Electoral College.

What do you get when you give your kids participation trophies?

The electoral college in 2016.

Netflix Jokes More Netflix Jokes

What does a drug addict like to do in their free time?

Netflix and pills :D

What is a whales favorite pasttime?

Netflix and krill.

Orange Jokes More Orange Jokes

Why couldn't the apple speak to the orange ?

because he didn't know Mandarin

What's the difference between Donald and a piece of fruit?

Oranges have thick skin. Let the downvotes fly, people! You've only got one! Edit: Did not expect this joke to get this good of a reception. Thanks, guys!

Tonight Jokes More Tonight Jokes

What moved less than Jenny McCarthy's forehead tonight?

Mariah Carey's mouth.

What is the most offensive joke you know?

I'm bored tonight and I have a no holds barred sense of humour. What are some of your worst

Big Joke Jokes More Big Joke Jokes

What's the biggest joke of 2016?

Look a bit to the right.

Who's the biggest joke on the football team?

The PUNter

Earth Jokes More Earth Jokes

How long does it take light to travel from the sun to the earth?

Not nearly as long as it would take to travel around your mom.

Who is going to win tonight's presidential election?

The Voyager Probe, speeding away from Earth at 38,000 mph.