Netflix Jokes

What does the result of this election and Netflix have in common?

Orange is the new Black

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What do whales do on dates?

Netflix and Krill

What did Mr. Freeze do with his wife on their first date?

Netflix and chill.

What do you call movie night at Bill Cosby's house?

Netflix and pill

What does a drug addict like to do in their free time?

Netflix and pills :D

Why couldn't Mario ever watch Netflix with Peach?

Because the princess was always on another Castle.

What's the best thing to do when your tinder date never shows?

Netflix and Jill

Why were they called the dark ages?

Because there were so many knights! Credit: watching Mr. D on Netflix

What is a whales favorite pasttime?

Netflix and krill.

What do Netflix and diarrhea have in common?

Both stream instantly.

Why did the peadophile sign up for Netflix?

He liked chillin.

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How long are you going to keep throwing that in my face?

Netflix: Because you watched "The Wedding Planner"

What are your desires?

Me: My desires are..imagines having a talking Pug named Maurice that I watch Netflix with...Unconventional.

What do you ask a Mexican girl you like?

Netflix and chili

Why would the Queen let Netflix use her likeness in "The Crown"?

She probably gets royalties

What did Dr Dre say to his wife during Netflix and chill?

Hope you're ready for the next episode

What do Worf and Jadzia like to do to relax?

Netflix and Trill!

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Bill Cosby Jokes More Bill Cosby Jokes

What do Bill Cosby and the Little Dutch Boy have in common?

Both were caught with their finger in the dyke.

What happens on the first date with Bill Cosby?

I don't remember

Chillin Jokes More Chillin Jokes

What were people doing during the last ice age?

Chillin.

Why did the peadophile sign up for Netflix?

He liked chillin.

Jill Jokes More Jill Jokes

Why did Jill fall off the swing?

Because she had no arms. Why did she not get back up? Because she had no legs. What did Jill get for Christmas? A bicycle.

What's the difference between a cake and a school bus ?

Jill: I don't know. Janet: I'm glad I didn't send you to pick up my birthday cake !

Drug Addict Jokes More Drug Addict Jokes

Why are drug addicts bad at billiards?

Because they only pay to shoot up the eight ball

What does a drug addict and a child have in common?

They both want tablets for Christmas.

Result Jokes More Result Jokes

What is the best definition of irony?

irony irne/ noun a state of affairs or an event that seems deliberately contrary to what one expects and is often amusing as a result.

What's the similarity between your zero-exercise lifestyle and a professional weight-lifter competing in the Olympics?

They both involve muscles and they both result in a-trophy.

Watch Jokes More Watch Jokes

How do Russians watch online movies?

Nyetflix!

What's the first rule of bug ownership?

Watch your step!

Whale Jokes More Whale Jokes

What do you call a symphony of whales?

An orcastra

How do whales type e-mails?

With their fish fingers.

Pill Jokes More Pill Jokes

Why are pills white?

Because they work.

Why was the blond late on her first day of work?

Because she stopped taking the pill about a month earlier.