Height Jokes

What do you call a bird that's afraid of heights?

A chicken

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What is the volume of a disk with radius z and height a?

Pi * z * z * a

What do you call an Ape that's afraid of heights?

A chimp-pansy. This is my go to primatology joke.

Why do Apes like tall buildings?

They want to climb the heights of the business world!

How can you tell if a cat is blonde?

A: No matter what height you drop it from it always lands on its head.

What is the volume of pizza?

Pizza of course! If z = radius of the pizza and a = the height then * radius2 * height = Pi * z * z * a = Pizza.

What is the height of honesty?

A: A pregnant lady takes one and a half ticket in the bus Q: What is the height of dishonesty A: She gives birth to twins

Why did the the acrophobe pothead start screaming?

She's afraid of heights.

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What did Jesus say to Peter?

Hebrew

Who do you want on your basketball team in heaven?

Peter. He can deny Jesus three times.

Pregnant Lady Jokes More Pregnant Lady Jokes

What's the difference between a pregnant lady and a light bulb?

You can unscrew the light bulb. - Steve Martin, "My Blue Heaven"

Why did a pregnant lady walk into Jimmy Johns?

They promised freaky fast delivery

Volume Jokes More Volume Jokes

What is the volume of Monica Lewinsky's mouth?

One US Leader

What is the volume of pizza?

Pizza of course! If z = radius of the pizza and a = the height then * radius2 * height = Pi * z * z * a = Pizza.

Let Jokes More Let Jokes

Why is Elsa not allowed a balloon?

Because she'll let it goooo

What should you do when freedom calls?

Let it ring.

Ottoman Empire Jokes More Ottoman Empire Jokes

What's the difference between the inverse of sec(o) and the smallest region in the former Ottoman Empire?

One is cos(o), the other is Kosovo

Where do Turkish people go to purchase their furniture?

The Ottoman Empire.

Tall Building Jokes More Tall Building Jokes

What's the tallest building in your city?

The library, because it has the most stories.

Why do Apes like tall buildings?

They want to climb the heights of the business world!

Coast Guard Jokes More Coast Guard Jokes

Why does the Coast Guard have ultraviolet lights?

To help them find missing sea men.

Why does the Coast Guard have a 6 foot height requirement?

So when their ship sinks they can walk back to shore.

Birth Jokes More Birth Jokes

What does a goat have when it gives birth?

A kid.

What do you call a cow who just gave birth?

Decalfeinated