Injection Jokes

What's the newest fitness craze sweeping American police forces?

Lead injections.

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What do you call the tech. at the vets who has to give injections to cats?

Claude.

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Suggestion Jokes More Suggestion Jokes

How to raise a kid?

I injected my kid with yeast and put him in the oven for 30 minutes but he didn't rise. Any suggestions

Why are highly successful people named Mark always so depressed?

Because they can't stop hitting themselves. This joke came to me while I was half asleep this morning. I'm not sure how original it is. I probably heard some variation of it somewhere and have just forgotten. Any suggestions for improving it?

Ban Jokes More Ban Jokes

Why did the clock get banned from the library?

It tocked too much

What did the officials say whenever systematic punishment was banned?

There's no punchline.

Drug Jokes More Drug Jokes

What do you call it when Wonder Woman does too many drugs?

Heroine overdose

What is it about glow sticks that makes me want to dance in a field wearing fairy wings?

If only I hadn't taken so many drugs I'd know this.

Seed Jokes More Seed Jokes

Why do priests like little boys?

Because it's easy to inject the seed of religion in them. Be gentle pls

What did Leonardo DiCaprio say when he planted a seed?

Inception

Rise Jokes More Rise Jokes

What looks better... than roses your piano?

Tulips on your organ.

How do we know that Jesus was made of bread?

Because yeasterday he died and tomorrow he will have risen.

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

How can you tell if the kid that stole your bike is half black and half polish?

He's running down the street with the bike under his arm.

What do you tell a kid with two black eyes?

Nothing. You already told him twice.

Vet Jokes More Vet Jokes

Why Chinese vet never hungry?

Dog have rice.

What do you call the tech. at the vets who has to give injections to cats?

Claude.

Throw Jokes More Throw Jokes

What did the purple policeman say as he threw the purple man into jail?

INDIGO!

Why did the boy fall off his bike?

A: Because someone threw a fridge at him.