Injection Jokes

What's the newest fitness craze sweeping American police forces?

Lead injections.

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What do you call the tech. at the vets who has to give injections to cats?

Claude.

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Mile Jokes More Mile Jokes

Why do the Scottish wear kilts?

Sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away

What is the longest word in the English language?

SMILES because there is a mile between the first and last letters!

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What would I do if Future tried talking to me?

I'd autotune him out. :)

What's the worst part about working with a gamer?

They're always trying to 1-Up you.

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

How does a lawyer name their kids?

Bill and Sue

What's the first rule here, boys?

Kid:Don't poop your pants M:I was gonna say "have fun" but...OK.

Suggestion Jokes More Suggestion Jokes

How to raise a kid?

I injected my kid with yeast and put him in the oven for 30 minutes but he didn't rise. Any suggestions

What would have happened if asians had committed the attacks of 9/11?

10/11 with rice, thanks for your suggestion

Oven Jokes More Oven Jokes

Why does Germany have so many different kinds of bread?

Well, we had to do something with the ovens.

Why shouldn't you put a baby in the microwave?

Because you get better results from slowly roasting it in the oven.

30 Minute Jokes More 30 Minute Jokes

How do you hear a hormone?

Pay $100 for 30 minutes

How long do you need to put the turkey in the oven for?

Mine was dead within 30 minutes (credit goes to my Grandma)

Religion Jokes More Religion Jokes

What religion do Saudi Arabian cows follow?

Mooslim

What religion still believes in the Big Bang?

x-post from /r/imgoingtohellforthis Islam

Substance Jokes More Substance Jokes

What is the difference between the substance inside a fire hydrant and the substance on the outside of it?

H20 is on the inside, and K9P is on the outside.

What is a drug?

A drug is a substance which when injected into a guinea pig produces a scientific paper.