Linux Jokes

What did the Windows user say to his Linux terminal?

DIR

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What were the favorite Linux text editors of 8 randomly selected Monty Python fans?

vim, vim, vim, vim, vim, vim, emacs, and vim.

What OS does an atheist run on their computer?

Fedora. For Linux n00bs(https://getfedora.org/)

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Computer Jokes More Computer Jokes

How does a woman differ from a computer?

You can actually punch information into a computer.

How do you know if a Chinaman robbed your house?

Your homework is done and your computer is upgraded, but two hours later he is still trying to back out of your driveway.

Select Jokes More Select Jokes

How do the Chinese select their baby names?

They chuck a tin can down the stairs Ping Wong ching Pang

What did Bernie Sanders say when he found a dead body at a Democratic Party meeting to select candidates and decide policy?

Oh god, a caucus!" cuz he has a new england accent

Redditor Jokes More Redditor Jokes

What's a Redditor's favorite color?

M'genta

What's a Redditor's favorite food?

Copy pasta! I'm so sorry

Vampire Jokes More Vampire Jokes

What's the definition of gross?

Two vampires fighting over a used tampon

Why did the vampire miss work?

He was having a coffin fit!

Operate Jokes More Operate Jokes

What do you call a monk that operates a door unlocking service?

A monkey. (p.s. I have a wonderful, terrible love for bad jokes)

Why do cats make better medical technicians than dogs?

Because dogs can't operate MRI machines, but catscan.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

Why did the Little Mermaid run away with the fisherman?

He had allure.

What did the Scottish man do when he ran out of pants to wear?

He kilt himself

Fedora Jokes More Fedora Jokes

What's the difference between a fedora clad Brony and an egg?

The egg gets laid!

What's it called when a fedora wearing neckbeard gets sick?

M'alady

House Jokes More House Jokes

Why should you only invite gas molecules to your house when they have negligible intermolecular forces between them?

Because they're the ideal gas.

How do you get Mexicans out of your house?

Juan by Jaun