Lisp Jokes

What do you call the man with a lisp who drowned?

A philosopher. Cuz he's a deep thinker.

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What do you call a kid with an eye patch, braces and a lisp?

Names

What do you call a traitor with a lisp?

Judith

What do you call a dirty drug addict with a lisp?

Methy

What did a lemon with a lisp say to the juicer?

Thtop taking the pith out of me!

What does a white girl with a lisp say?

Yaaathh

What's long green and goes hith ?

A snake with a lisp !

What did the clam with a lisp say to his greedy friend?

You're so shelfish!

What do you call salesman with a lisp?

Rodger. He's the one with the lisp, not you, so why would you call him anything different

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Snake Jokes More Snake Jokes

What do you get if you cross two snakes with a magic spell ?

Addercadabra and abradacobra !

What do you say when you step on a snake?

Well that bites.

Lemon Jokes More Lemon Jokes

What does a walrus and Tupperware have in common?

What does a walrus and Tupperware have in common? .. They both like a tight seal *What looks like a lemon and shaped like a rock? .. A lemon shaped rock *What is brown and sticky? ..A brown stick

How are synagogues like lemons?

They're full of acidic juice.

Salesman Jokes More Salesman Jokes

How 'bout this one?

Salesman: Sir, we've been over this, I don't know how many McNuggets it will hold.

What happened when the man asked the salesman for a good belt?

O.K. you asked for it" the salesman said as he gave him a good belt.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

Why doesn't men use make-up or perfume?

Because we're beautiful and smell good!

What do you call a man doing dishes?

Single.

Brace Jokes More Brace Jokes

Who's there ! Bolton ! Bolton who ?

Bolton braces !

What does a redneck say for foreplay?

Brace yourself, Linda-Lou"

Eye Patch Jokes More Eye Patch Jokes

What do all Japanese Airmen wear eye patches?

Because they're pirots!

Why did the developers have to delay their pirate game?

They needed to give their characters an eye-patch.

Thimble Jokes More Thimble Jokes

Why is the all-lisp percussion section so quiet?

Because thimbles aren't very loud.

What's a thimble?

By definithion, thomething that represenths or thtands for thomething elth. Thymbolithm, y'know.

Drown Jokes More Drown Jokes

What are you fishing for sonny?

Boy: I'm not fishing I'm drowning worms.

Why don't the Amish waterski?

The horses would drown. Ba-dum TISH