Lung Cancer Jokes

What did the optimist say to his doctor when he found out he had lung cancer?

Well, I'll deal with this asbestos I can!"

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How is the 85 year old Contractor that survived lung cancer doing?

Asbestos he can. I'm so sorry.

What's easier to get, aids or lung cancer?

Depends what you smoke. (Not native speaker, sorry if it doesn't make sense)

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Sense Jokes More Sense Jokes

What would you say about someone who li kes to tell cancer jokes?

That he has a sense of tumor (Courtesy of twitter.com/sorryforthelolz)

What is a joke that only makes sense in your own regional dialect/accent?

Sorry for a post that's not a joke but I'm interested. Here's one from where I am. These two ducks are flying over Ballymena. The first one says, "quack quack" and the second one says, "slow down! I'm coming as quack as I cyan."

Aid Jokes More Aid Jokes

What kind of aids he got?

Financial aids ! !

What's worse than getting AIDs?

Having to find out that your dog has AIDs too.

Deal Jokes More Deal Jokes

How can you tell you are dealing with an extroverted engineer?

He's staring at somebody else's shoes.

Why was the teenage girl fired from her job at the casino?

Because SHE JUST CAN'T DEAL

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

What is the worst type of doctor you can be?

gynecologist - because in the hole that the whole world is looking for pleasure, he's looking for problems.

Why wasn't the patient concerned when she was told she had a brain tumor?

The doctor said it was all in her head

Survive Jokes More Survive Jokes

Who has one thumb and survived a band saw accident?

This guy!!!

What human organ would survive the longest in the hunger games?

The liver

Smoke Jokes More Smoke Jokes

Why did the monkey put a bone in his mouth?

He wanted to smoke a joint!

What Do You Call A Group Of Terrorists That Love to Smoke Weed?

HIGH-SIS

Asbestos Jokes More Asbestos Jokes

Why do carcinogens want to give us cancer so badly?

Because they're trying asbestos they can.

What did the optimist say to his doctor when he found out he had lung cancer?

Well, I'll deal with this asbestos I can!"

Depend Jokes More Depend Jokes

How many babies does it take to paint a house?

Depends on how hard you throw them.

How bad is it to poop your pants?

It Depends