Lung Cancer Jokes

What did the optimist say to his doctor when he found out he had lung cancer?

Well, I'll deal with this asbestos I can!"

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How is the 85 year old Contractor that survived lung cancer doing?

Asbestos he can. I'm so sorry.

What's easier to get, aids or lung cancer?

Depends what you smoke. (Not native speaker, sorry if it doesn't make sense)

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Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

Why did the vampire go to the doctors?

Because he was coffin...

What do you call the doctor for dogs?

Dogtor

Sense Jokes More Sense Jokes

Why is Joey Tribbiani a presenter on the new Top Gear?

It doesn't make sense, he and all his friends are always stuck in second gear

What do you call cattle with a sense of humor?

A: Laughing stock.

Optimist Jokes More Optimist Jokes

What does an optimist call the World Trade Center?

San Diego.

What did the optimist say as he jumped off the building?

So far, so good.

Asbestos Jokes More Asbestos Jokes

What did the terminally-ill dock worker say about his health care?

It's asbestos could be."

Why do carcinogens want to give us cancer so badly?

Because they're trying asbestos they can.

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

How are children like cellphones?

If youve lost one and havent found it in a couple days, chances are its probably dead.

Why couldn't the blonde add 10 and seven on a calculator?

A: She couldn't find the 10 key.

Deal Jokes More Deal Jokes

How do you deal with radical Islamists?

You square them.

What I say: "Does anyone need anything from the store?

What I mean: "I'm off to smoke a bowl in my car so I can deal with all of you."

Smoke Jokes More Smoke Jokes

How do beekeepers keep their bees so chill?

They smoke them out.

What do you call a family in which everyone from grand parents to grand kids smoke weed?

Joint Family.

Aid Jokes More Aid Jokes

What's worse than getting AIDs?

Having to find out that your dog has AIDs too.

Why does Michael Phelps refuse to aid his teammates in preparing for the Olympics?

He only Phelps himself.