Lung Cancer Jokes

What did the optimist say to his doctor when he found out he had lung cancer?

Well, I'll deal with this asbestos I can!"

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How is the 85 year old Contractor that survived lung cancer doing?

Asbestos he can. I'm so sorry.

What's easier to get, aids or lung cancer?

Depends what you smoke. (Not native speaker, sorry if it doesn't make sense)

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Deal Jokes More Deal Jokes

Why do Canadians love Syrian Refugees?

more moslem guys who can convert canadian girls to islam. What a deal!

Why is there no scope for dealers/middle men in the field of extractive metallurgy?

Because he/she who smelt it, dealt it.

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

What kind of doctor does a duck visit?

A Ducktor.

Why did the dog go to the doctor after a tomato fell on his head?

The tomato was in a can.

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

How many buzzfeed employees does it take to screw a lightbulb?

Click here to find out!

What's worse than getting AIDs?

Having to find out that your dog has AIDs too.

Smoke Jokes More Smoke Jokes

Why do people find Anne Frank so attractive?

Because she is smoking hot

What do you call a Pokemon who is trying to quit smoking?

Vaporeon

Optimist Jokes More Optimist Jokes

What's the difference between a optimist, a pessimist and a realist?

The optimist sees the light at the end of the tunnel. The pessimist sees nothing. And the realist sees the train.

What does an optimist call the World Trade Center?

San Diego.

Asbestos Jokes More Asbestos Jokes

Why did people use insulation containing deadly toxins?

It was asbestos they could do at the time!

What's the only thing worse than asbestos?

Asworstos.

Depend Jokes More Depend Jokes

How many philosophers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Well it depends on what you mean by change.

What is the value of Pi?

Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99

Survive Jokes More Survive Jokes

What's the difference between a guy wearing a bullet proof vest and the English football team?

The guy would survive the first round.

What did the man who survived a javelin headwound say to his opponent?

Thanks for opening my mind.