Asbestos Jokes

What did the optimist say to his doctor when he found out he had lung cancer?

Well, I'll deal with this asbestos I can!"

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Why do carcinogens want to give us cancer so badly?

Because they're trying asbestos they can.

What did the terminally-ill dock worker say about his health care?

It's asbestos could be."

What's the only thing worse than asbestos?

Asworstos.

Why did people use insulation containing deadly toxins?

It was asbestos they could do at the time!

What did the doctor say to the Mesothelioma patient?

There's not much I can do, but I'll do asbestos I can!

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Lung Cancer Jokes More Lung Cancer Jokes

How is the 85 year old Contractor that survived lung cancer doing?

Asbestos he can. I'm so sorry.

What's easier to get, aids or lung cancer?

Depends what you smoke. (Not native speaker, sorry if it doesn't make sense)

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

How does a cat tell time??

In meowers

Why do athletes prefer nuns to time their laps?

Because when a nun times anything it's zero. (0*n=0) :D

Optimist Jokes More Optimist Jokes

What are your strengths?

I'm an optimist and a positive thinker." "Give me an example" "When do I start "

How many optimists does it take to change a light bulb?

Who says it's dark

Deal Jokes More Deal Jokes

How can you tell you are dealing with an extroverted engineer?

He's staring at somebody else's shoes.

Why do Canadians love Syrian Refugees?

more moslem guys who can convert canadian girls to islam. What a deal!

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

Why are you wrapping me up like a burrito & how did you find a tortilla this big?

Me: Shhh! This is my fantasy & burritos don't talk.

What do you find in a rythmic bakery?

A-bun-dance

Live Jokes More Live Jokes

Where did the engine go after he retired?

To live in a motor home

What do you call a crazy bug that lives in space?

A lunar-tick

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

How many sycophants does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

How many do you want?

Why won't Caitlyn Jenner go to Taco Bell?

She doesn't want another Bell not accepting her for who she is.

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

How many tweekers does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on which method you try....

What did the physicist say when he tried to meditate?

Ohmmmm, Ohmmmm, Ohmmmm...