Asbestos Jokes

What did the optimist say to his doctor when he found out he had lung cancer?

Well, I'll deal with this asbestos I can!"

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Why do carcinogens want to give us cancer so badly?

Because they're trying asbestos they can.

What did the terminally-ill dock worker say about his health care?

It's asbestos could be."

What's the only thing worse than asbestos?

Asworstos.

Why did people use insulation containing deadly toxins?

It was asbestos they could do at the time!

What did the doctor say to the Mesothelioma patient?

There's not much I can do, but I'll do asbestos I can!

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Why doesn't Dwayne Johnson's downstairs neighbor understand references to current events?

He's been living under The Rock.

What do you call Squidward when he gives DNA results for a living?

You call 'im Maury. :)

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Why wouldn't the Doctor wait in line?

He had no patients

When can you operate?

lighting a candle* Doctor: When we find you a new liver.

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What's a good way to get gum out of your hair?

Getting diagnosed with cancer.

Why do carcinogens want to give us cancer so badly?

Because they're trying asbestos they can.

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How does Super Mario contact the dead?

He uses a Luigi board.

Why does no-one use the rhinos ATM?

Because he charges!

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What did the Sewage Worker say to his apprentice?

Urine for a surprise.

What did the pastry chef say to his apprentice?

Know your roll!"

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What do you call a soldier who survived pepper spray and mustard gas?

A seasoned veteran

What animal can only survive in temperate climates?

A lukeworm.

People Jokes More People Jokes

Why do people keep asking me what I'm going to be doing in three years?

I don't have 2020 vision.

Why do people keep a picture of their wife and kids in their wallet?

To remind them why there's no money in it

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why do Europeans hate American food?

Europeans don't want to die yet. Unlike Americans who don't wanna diet.

Who wants to play war?

I'll lay down and you can blow the hell out of me!