Asbestos Jokes

What did the optimist say to his doctor when he found out he had lung cancer?

Well, I'll deal with this asbestos I can!"

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Why do carcinogens want to give us cancer so badly?

Because they're trying asbestos they can.

What did the terminally-ill dock worker say about his health care?

It's asbestos could be."

What's the only thing worse than asbestos?

Asworstos.

Why did people use insulation containing deadly toxins?

It was asbestos they could do at the time!

What did the doctor say to the Mesothelioma patient?

There's not much I can do, but I'll do asbestos I can!

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Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

How do they tie things down on the space station?

They use astro knots.

Why do countries "cut ties" when things get tense ?

So weird having men walk around in suits and half ties.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What dog can tell the time ?

A watch dog !

Who are the fastest readers of all time?

9/11 victims, they went through 87 stories in 15 seconds

Survive Jokes More Survive Jokes

How did Warren Buffets company survive the economic meltdown?

It's a trade secret, but don't worry, Berkshire Hathaway

What human organ would survive the longest in the hunger games?

The liver

Lung Cancer Jokes More Lung Cancer Jokes

What did the optimist say to his doctor when he found out he had lung cancer?

Well, I'll deal with this asbestos I can!"

How is the 85 year old Contractor that survived lung cancer doing?

Asbestos he can. I'm so sorry.

Mesothelioma Jokes More Mesothelioma Jokes

How do people with Mesothelioma live their lives?

Asbestos they can.

What did the doctor say to the Mesothelioma patient?

There's not much I can do, but I'll do asbestos I can!

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the bees go on strike ?

Because they wanted more honey and shorter working flowers !

Why didn't Natalie Wood take a shower on the boat?

She wanted to wash up on shore

People Jokes More People Jokes

What's difference between Abu Dhabi and Dubai?

People in Dubai don't watch The Flintstones But people in Abu Dhabi Do!!

What do you call people who immigrate to Sweden?

Artificial Swedeners

Contain Jokes More Contain Jokes

What movie contains the most micro aggressions?

Ant Man

What starts with e, ends with e, and only contains one letter?

an Envelope EDIT: My deepest Canadian apologies to those who are calling this a riddle. I always took it as a cheesy joke