Missouri Jokes

Where were you born?

Me: Missouri. I: What state are you in now? M: Apathy. I: That's not what I meant. M: I don't care.

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Why does Missouri share borders with the most amount of States?

Because Missouri loves company

What do you call a sad state?

Missouri

What do you call the new policing strategy of communities such as Ferguson, Missouri?

A shot in the dark.

How many Missouri Police officers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just shoot the room for being black.

Why did the chicken cross the road in Missouri?

To show the opossum it could be done.

What is the least pleasant state to live in?

Missouri.

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Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many Nickelback fans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Trick question! There's no such thing as Nickelback fans. (I will be hated by few)

How Many Business Analysts Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb?

None. The light bulb shall never burn out. (OK. It's more cathartic than funny...)

Dark Jokes More Dark Jokes

How many nuclear war survivors does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. People who glow in the dark don't need lightbulbs.

Why didn't Mark Hamill go crazy while voice acting as the Joker?

Because he overcame the dark side

Apathy Jokes More Apathy Jokes

Which is worse, ignorance or apathy?

I don't know and I don't care.

What's a bigger problem, ignorance or apathy?

I don't know and i don't care.

Company Jokes More Company Jokes

Why do Chinese workers work so hard?

Because their companies are always short-staffed.

What do we call the process which usually happens after a company deliberately sells a misleading product to its customers?

DLC.

Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

What's the difference between a Canadian and an American?

Canadian knows the difference between a school and a shooting range.

What do you do when you see your neighbour staggering in the back yard?

Shoot him again.

Live Jokes More Live Jokes

Whatcha watching?

Me: Tiny Houses. 9: Wow it's tiny! Who's gonna live there Me: Two people. 9: Are they married Me: Not for long.

What happened when the Easter Bunny met the rabbit of his dreams?

They lived hoppily ever after!

Shot Jokes More Shot Jokes

How do you hit 20 flies in one shot?

Hit an Ethiopian in the head with a frying pan.

How much did Harambe drink in the bar?

Just a couple of shots

Chicken Jokes More Chicken Jokes

Why do Jamaican chickens make fun of all the other chickens?

Because they're jerks.

Why did the piece of gum cross the road?

It was stuck to the chicken.