Missouri Jokes

Where were you born?

Me: Missouri. I: What state are you in now? M: Apathy. I: That's not what I meant. M: I don't care.

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Why does Missouri share borders with the most amount of States?

Because Missouri loves company

What do you call a sad state?

Missouri

What do you call the new policing strategy of communities such as Ferguson, Missouri?

A shot in the dark.

How many Missouri Police officers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just shoot the room for being black.

Why did the chicken cross the road in Missouri?

To show the opossum it could be done.

What is the least pleasant state to live in?

Missouri.

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Why did the man with one hand cross the road?

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Why didn't the bird cross the road?

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Which is the most courteous State in the US?

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He couldn't take shots to the head.

Why didn't JFK ever like vodka?

Because he couldn't handle a few shots

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Why are muslim people so kind-hearted?

Because they don't live long, especially when they're a bomb

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Was there seriously a problem of people thinking we all lived twice

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What does The Rock said to his Girl Friend?

Im Stoned :p

What's the best thing about portugal?

You never have to carry your bags because of all the porter-geese. Thankyou, im here till monday!

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Which day do chickens hate the most?

Friday.

Which dance will a chicken not do ?

The foxtrot !

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What did Joss say on the last day of shooting the Avengers?

Whedon?

How do you stop an Armenian tank?

You shoot the guys pushing it.