Missouri Jokes

Where were you born?

Me: Missouri. I: What state are you in now? M: Apathy. I: That's not what I meant. M: I don't care.

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Why does Missouri share borders with the most amount of States?

Because Missouri loves company

What do you call a sad state?

Missouri

What do you call the new policing strategy of communities such as Ferguson, Missouri?

A shot in the dark.

How many Missouri Police officers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just shoot the room for being black.

Why did the chicken cross the road in Missouri?

To show the opossum it could be done.

What is the least pleasant state to live in?

Missouri.

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Chicken Jokes More Chicken Jokes

What did the egg say to the pan or boiling water?

It's gonna take me a while to get hard, I just got laid by a chicken."

How do you make a chicken salad?

Make a salad and give it to a chicken.

Ferguson Jokes More Ferguson Jokes

Why are people so sad in Ferguson?

Because they live in misery

What do you call the new policing strategy of communities such as Ferguson, Missouri?

A shot in the dark.

Apathy Jokes More Apathy Jokes

What's a bigger problem, ignorance or apathy?

I don't know and i don't care.

What is the difference between ignorance and apathy?

I don't know and I don't care.

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

Why did the hipster burn his fingers?

because he changed the light bulb before it was cool

How many spiders does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two.

State Jokes More State Jokes

Why does Mexjco do poorly in the olympics?

Because all the Mexicans who can run fast, swim fast and jump high are in the states.

What US state has a lot of dirty laundry?

Washington

Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

Why didn't Cupid shoot his arrow at the lawyer's heart?

Because even Cupid can't hit a target that small!

How do you stop a Polish battletank?

Shoot the guy pushing it.

Community Jokes More Community Jokes

What do you call the new policing strategy of communities such as Ferguson, Missouri?

A shot in the dark.

What do you call an Optomitrist who is very highly thought of in his community?

Respectacle

M Jokes More M Jokes

What are you gonna do today?

Me: Shower. W: ...what else M: Make a new iTunes playlist. W: Wow. M: Might not have time for a shower.

What do you call a cowboy with a case of bad gas?

Darn tootin'! (this is so dumb im sorry)