Monica Jokes

What did Monica say to Hillary before Election Day?

Don't blow it

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What do Hillary and Monica have in common?

They both blew it.

Why did Chandler play the blues as loud as he could?

He wanted to harm monica.

What would be funny about Hillary as president?

That she would be sitting at the desk that Monica once kneeled under!

How's Hillary's head?

He answers, "Well, she's no Monica!"

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Vote Jokes More Vote Jokes

What do Asians do during an erection?

They vote

What does an Asian man do during an erection?

Vote.

Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

Why couldn't the retarded man talk normally?

He was trying to hold the door

Why don't you talk to John anymore, you used to be best friends?

Son: Well, would you be friends with someone who was stupid, took drugs and was drunk all the time? Mom: No, Never! Son: Well neither would he!

U. S. Jokes More U. S. Jokes

Who is the least guilty U.S. President?

Lincoln. He's in a cent!

What makes perfect sense?

The U.S. mint (cents)

Kneel Jokes More Kneel Jokes

What's the difference between a woman kneeling in prayer and a woman kneeling in a bathtub?

a woman kneeling in prayer has hope in her soul.

What would be funny about Hillary as president?

That she would be sitting at the desk that Monica once kneeled under!

Soda Machine Jokes More Soda Machine Jokes

What does a gangbanger have in common with a soda machine?

They both don't work and always take your money

What do Monica Lewinsky and a soda machine have in common?

They both say insert Bill here

Vend Jokes More Vend Jokes

What does a vending machine and Monica Lewinsky have in common?

They both say "Insert Bill Here"

Why are most rappers afraid of vending machines?

Because eminem's in there (Sorry, it works better when it's spoken)

Liquid Jokes More Liquid Jokes

What do you call a liquid that spent all its money dissolving solute?

insolvent

Why can't liquids with high viscosity get insurance?

They resist Flo.

Leader Jokes More Leader Jokes

What's the leader of north korea's wife wear when she's not in the mood?

a Kimono

What's a sharks favorite game?

Swallow the leader. *This joke has been brought to you by my 8 year old's math homework.*