Nfl Jokes

What do you get when you mix an insurance company with an NFL quarterback?

An Aflacco

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What did the NFL Commissioner say when Adele turned down the Superbowl Halftime Show?

Never mind, I'll find someone like you

Why would Keemstar make a good NFL cornerback?

He's really good at swatting.

What do Monica Lewinsky and NFL players both have in common?

It's their knees that go first.

What did Peyton Manning said to his younger brother about the new NFL rule?

ELI5 (explain me like I am five)

What's the difference between a wide receiver and Ray Rice's wife?

The NFL will review the tape of the wide receiver getting hit

What's the worst part of an NFL wedding?

Getting hit by Rice

What do the NFL and Jail have in common?

You go in as a Tight End and leave as a Wide Receiver.

What is green and white, throws pig skin, and is the worst team in the NFL?

The Jets.

What do the Police, the NFL and Black Lives Matter all have in common?

They all have the same PR guy.

What do you get if you watch the Blind Side backwards?

Oher's NFL career

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What does the NFL season and the national anthem have in common?

Kaepernick is gonna sit through them both.

Who's the nicest player in the NFL?

Drew Brees. The guy's a saint.

When is the only time a white NFL wide receiver is a good thing?

When your sister tells you she's dating an NFL wide receiver.

When is the NFL going to start drafting players with mental handicaps?

Have you ever seen a video of them getting the ball and not scoring a touchdown

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Peyton Manning Jokes More Peyton Manning Jokes

What do Abraham Lincoln and Peyton Manning have in common?

Neither can finish a play.

Why is it bad that Peyton Manning shilled for Budweiser?

Because he clearly owed the win to Miller.

Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

Why doesn't Rihanna smoke weed anymore?

Because she's taken enough hits.

Why did the pilot hit the Alps?

To get to the other side.

Matter Jokes More Matter Jokes

Why was the electron mad?

Well, it doesn't really matter...

What's a necrophiliacs favorite drink?

Doesn't matter, so long as it's stiff.

Mix Jokes More Mix Jokes

What do you get when you mix Mexico with literature?

Tequila Mockingbird

What do you get when you mix a hippie and a yellow?

Mello Yellow

Young Brother Jokes More Young Brother Jokes

What did Peyton say to his younger brother when he didn't understand him?

Eli5

What do you call a North Korean Gorilla?

King Kong Un (From my younger brother).

Rice Jokes More Rice Jokes

What is the healthiest college?

Rice

What's an Islamist's favourite crop?

Rice is.

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

Where will you find the most powerful man in Los Angeles?

Watts.

What did the Chinese man say when he found out his mother died?

I can't bereave it!

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a bucket of sand and a bucket of afterbirth?

You can't gargle with the sand.

What's the difference between a blonde and an ironing board?

A: It's difficult to open the legs of an ironing board.