Moustache Jokes

Why do Italian men grow moustaches?

They want to look like their mothers.

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When is it okay to spit an arab woman in the face?

When her moustache is on fire!

How do you tell the difference?

I told him "It's easy! Julie has long blonde hair..." "..and Derek has a moustache"

How do I tell them apart?

Her brother has a moustache.

What did the facial hair say when it had to leave the party?

Sorry guys, moustache!"

Whats the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus?

One has a moustache and smells of fish and the other is a walrus.

What did the customer say to the barber after looking at a facial hair catalog?

I moustache you a question about this style shown here, good sir.

Why do women like men with moustaches?

Because they immediately see something about you they can change.

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Walrus Jokes More Walrus Jokes

What does Tupperware and a walrus have in common?

They both like a tight seal

Why did the walrus go to the container store?

To find a tight seal.

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

Why did the blonde guy ask his girlfriend to squeeze his left testicle?

A: Because the road sign said 'Squeeze Left.'

Why doesn't the guy with OCD ever get laid?

Because when he turns his girlfriend on he has to turn her off again three times.

Barber Jokes More Barber Jokes

What did the customer say to the barber after looking at a facial hair catalog?

I moustache you a question about this style shown here, good sir.

Why doesn't my hairline look good?

Barber: It's on the same old head.

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?

Because from a distance, they looked like hare.

How do old people check up to see how their friends are doing?

They look in the obituary

Sorry Guy Jokes More Sorry Guy Jokes

What is better than coming second in the Special Olympics?

Not being retarded. Sorry guys. Poor taste. But it is what it is.

What did the facial hair say when it had to leave the party?

Sorry guys, moustache!"

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

Why did the janitor get fired from the bank?

Because he cleaned out the vault.

When is the only appropriate time to spit in an Italian woman's face?

When her mustache is on fire!

Italian Jokes More Italian Jokes

What's in Heaven and Hell?

In Heaven, the cops are British, the engineers are German, the lovers are French, the cooks are Italian and the whole thing is managed by the Swiss In Hell, the cops are German, the engineers are French, the lovers are Swiss, the cooks are British and the whole thing is managed by the Italians

Why is it so hard to make up your mind on what to get in an Italian restaurant?

A: There are just too many pastabilities!

Face Jokes More Face Jokes

Why did the punk-rocker cross the road?

He had a chicken stapled to his face.

Who would you turn to face?

be careful with whom you chose